The Tao of Gini

in your skin

2012-01-24T05:40:00.001-07:00

so the question is:

Are you content in your skin?

Part of this New Year for me

was making sure that was indeed true.

No more wasting time.

Going after what I want out of life.

Get out of my way.

And as the reality of our friend Tommy's death

slithers into the routineness of our daily lives

the words to Lifehouse's song

aptly titled "In Your Skin"

bring me back to thinking about him.

Throw stones, breaking bones
Then wonder why you run for cover
You fight the world from inside

Lay down, playing dead
Turn the pages, just another
Wasted day in your mind

You live to run away
But fear's the hardest act to follow
Let me let you in

Hold on another day
Face the truth, it's hard to swallow
It's time to begin
There's only one life
In your skin

Wake up, take a breath
Remember why you're even breathing
You're still alive

Give in, give it up
You're the only one believing
In all of your lies

You live to run away
But fear's the hardest act to follow
Let me let you in

Hold on another day
Face the truth, it's hard to swallow
It's time to begin
There's only one life
In your skin, in your skin

You live to run away
But fear's the hardest act to follow
Let me let you in

Hold on another day
Face the truth, it's hard to swallow
It's time to begin
There's only one life
In your skin, in your skin

There IS only one life in your skin.

Are you doing all you can?

YOU can be gone in an instant.

And man, I want to leave my mark.

it is just staggering

2012-01-23T16:02:00.001-07:00

the possibilities endless,

of what Connor can do when he grows up.

I just sit back in amazement of all that he is becoming

as he gets older.

Matures.

Becomes a young teen.

I just don't know how he,

on a daily basis,

surprises me with his clear thinking.

His logic.

For example:

I couldn't have been more proud of him

yesterday

when he came home from a birthday party

for a good friend of his at school.

Because really...........

who else can say their son did this??:

Wore Shorts to a Paintball Party

Only me, I am sure.
Go on......be jealous!

"you can leave now"

2012-01-19T10:27:00.001-07:00

pretty much the exact words Garrin used last night,

to Bill and me,

after he was all set up in the office doing his homework.

Not sure where he picked up such an attitude....

take a look at this...

2012-01-13T09:05:00.001-07:00

and then answer the question below.

Would you agree that taking just one look at this kid

makes you want to give him anything his little heart desires?

Yes. I am a pushover and am feeding into his Lego Obsession.

I cannot stop.

I mean, just look at that face.

'Nuff said.

The post with no name....

2012-01-12T06:54:00.001-07:00

December 11th is the date of the last post here on The Tao.

I'd since started another post that never got published,

never got finished actually.

And this post - Well,

I'd uploaded the photos on January 4th

and just never got around to getting all those thoughts down

at that time.

So here I sit. Waiting for a doctor's appointment,

with some not-so-spare time,

but a good time, nonetheless, to get on here

and get this rolling.....

I was just talking with my mother in law yesterday,

who has been here in AZ visiting since Dec 10th or thereabouts.

She had remarked how it was hard to believe that 1 month has passed.

And I was thinking about how much has happened within that one month.

Holy Effing Shit. A. LOT.

So - on to the pics that I uploaded,

and then I will download some thoughts.....at the end of the post.

So here is a family photo,

which I love.

Will always remind me of the unbelievably gorgeous weather

we enjoyed Christmas of 2011.

Onto an amazing project Leslie and I worked on when we got together

for New Years.

And might I just add that getting together with a best friend

on New Years really gets you pumped for what the new year will bring.

Anyhoo - the project.

We made Inspiration boards - cut outs from magazines that defined us

and what we wanted out of the year. It was fun to do, but

even better that I get to glance at that every single morning

and remind myself to focus on what is right in front of me....literally.

Love this! And of course I love Leslie!

Next up for us was a quick little trip to Sedona.

Nothing quite like connecting with a landscape so indescribable to

aid in forgetting about any negativity in your life, school, work,

homework, swimming, driving, flying.....all those things that occupy

us, but define us as who we are in our normalcy.

And then "Monday" rolls around.

That back to school,

back to work,

back to laundry,

back to cleaning,

back to reality - day.

It's all good though.

Every bit of it.

So much so for me now.

For all that has happened in the past month

has changed me.

Forever.

So Bill's friend and business mentor Tommy died.

Suddenly.

Quickly.

Just like that.

Mid December brought so much excitement because Bill was going to finally be

finished with 6 weeks of traveling for work. My mother-in-law was coming here

to spend the holidays. The kids would be out for winter break, and we were gearing

up to spend Christmas in Disneyland with the Marshall family.

A day after Bill came home from San Francisco he got a call from Tommy's

business partner, that Tommy was in the hospital near the end....
So Bill went on his way to NYC - Sloan Kettering Hospital
to visit his best friend who had stage 4 lung cancer.
And I stayed home. Which killed me.
It killed me because I knew this would have been my one and only
opportunity to talk to Tommy. To tell him thank you for everything he'd brought to our life.
The love. The support. The friendship (best friendship with my husband).
The laughs. The kindness. The years. Many many years.
Just always being there, sometimes what seemed, just in the background.
One of the few people who whenever, where ever -
had our back. He was always, just THERE.

But Bill came home hopeful that Tommy would kick this.
Through writing and gestures Tommy "told" Bill he would be coming out
here to AZ.....soon. And Bill hoped. And I hoped.

We cancelled Disneyland.
We scrambled to bring Christmas to the kids at home, regardless of what was
going on. And amidst trying to be happy and hopeful, Tommy's life
ended on December 23rd.

With the arrangements set for the week end before New Years,
Bill once again headed back out to the east coast.
And I did not. Could not. I needed to take care of the kids,
as before. But while Bill was gone
I changed.

What is that saying? "Life sucks, then you die."
God, how many minutes have I spent creating some sort of "Life Sucks"
for myself. Letting shit get to me. Letting people get to me.
Wasting time worrying about
ALL THE WRONG THINGS.

Seriously. Life can and does end in an instant, sometimes.
Why am I not living my life
better or differently
knowing so?

So I vowed - to Tommy,
to change that.
In his honor.
To live my life,
for Bill and I to live OUR lives,
the way he lived his.
The way he showed us.

So if I could,
I would still want to thank him for all that he'd ever done for us,
but thank him too,
for changing our lives - our future.
Our outlook.
Our motivation.

I am on a roll.
And it feels really good.
2012 is going to be amazing.
And I am grateful and thankful for every moment
I am able to watch Bill fill the void in his life now,
with a new outlook on life.

Because we now know - life can be gone in less than two weeks....

What a beautiful day

2011-12-11T17:52:00.001-07:00

spent relaxing

and decorating for Christmas.

I panicked a little when I saw the kids opening the advent calendar door

(not only for the 25 days of the daily intake of candy, but...)

and it said "11".

Which means Christmas is right around the corner

and I am a little behind in everything.

Oh well.

So great to hang out with Meme on her first full day here.

So great to just be calm.

I have a feeling Monday won't be quite as stress-free.

It is Saturday

2011-12-10T07:13:00.001-07:00

And I really had no reason to get up at 5:30,

but I did.

Which sucks.

So I nosed around Twitter a bit.

Facebook a bit.

Google chatted with a friend.

And remembered I'd taken some photos of the moon last night,

NOT with Instagram, but with my big camera.

(patting myself on the back)

I do not know how to shoot pictures of the moon,

which is exactly why I will not be posting them here.

But I did come across the photos I'd taken at the zoo, back on Thanksgiving weekend.....

before my battery crapped out.

Which again, made me realize, I need to take more photos.

It makes me feel good.

So today I am going to try to feel all warm and fuzzy and find something

to photograph,

all the while I am sure -

feeling like this:

Cheers to the Friggen Weekend.

Here's where the problem lies...

2011-12-08T14:17:00.001-07:00

I am addicted to Instagram.

I no longer tote around my big camera.

And when I think to grab it the battery is dead.

And I forget to charge them.

Because what does it matter because

I am addicted to Instagram.

I need to change this.

Today.

Good god it's been forever

2011-12-07T17:22:00.001-07:00

But here I sit.

My busy world has crashed.

Garrin puked at school today, thankfully while I was helping out.

So the 4000 things I have on my to-do list,

have taken a back seat to caring for my kid.

As I write that I get this weird feeling knowing that my kids are ALL at the ages

now where they pretty much take care of themselves.

Short of the usual crap I do around here to keep the train rolling -

laundry, cooking, cleaning etc

they do what they do.

Until they get sick, that is.

Which I guess leaves me more time to pile things onto my lists.

I don't even know the last time I blogged.

Certainly not for lack of "material".

But all in all, for a lack in time.

My mind is full though.

Last month was the month for thanks.

And as I look back and remember the things I was thankful for

most were good.

Thankful for Bill and the kids.

Great NEW friends.

The unconditional love of OLD friends.

The opportunity to stand by my husband, as he pursues his dream

with his business and watching it grow.

Good health (knock on wood....lemme find some...

hold on.....that's a doozey for me!)

The list goes on...the list of great things in my life.

I have a very bad habit of letting the shit part of my life creep forward

and cloud my thinking. Overtake the happiness I feel,

and invade my gratitude, turning it to resentment and sadness.

And for this - my heart aches.

So I turn that around by once again, seeing what I do have,

and trying to let go of what I do not.

Life is not perfect.

But hey.

Moving to Arizona sometimes makes me realize I have been given a chance

to make my life as perfect as perfect gets. And knowing that Bill and I both

have worked so hard to afford our kids the same - makes the heartache lessen,

and makes life worth living! And thankful that my kids are thriving here.

We all experienced somewhat of a "Life Interrupted" but as we celebrate our

one year anniversary here,

back in the desert where we belong

I know in my heart that

I need to move forward and not look back.

So as December rolls on, I am hoping to get back on here.

Get stuff off my chest.

Make some room for the good stuff.

this post

2011-11-04T17:01:00.002-07:00

was going to be all mushy and deep and sentimental

and all kinds of crap - something like...

the beauty of the sky makes me realize the beauty in my life..

blah blah blah

But instead I made a conscious choice to NOT do that.

What it really boiled down to was....

The sky was pretty fricken amazing this morning.

(Usually is when you have an impending dust storm that is going to blow in later)

So this amazing sky, happened about the time I dropped Hannah off at the bus

that she was taking to get to the first day of High School State to swim.

Oh - that I wasn't going to - to watch her,

due to the simple fact that I needed to take care of the boys

AND she left at 6:30 am.

So couple the sky and my feeling all sorry for myself -

voila!

The makings of a sappy blogpost.

I chose instead to bite my nails,

twitter with my friend who was at the meet,

head to the office for a short while,

and listen to very loud music

to take my mind off of Hannah.

Which didn't work, by the way.

So here are the photos.

I'll shut up now.

channelling Steve Jobs

2011-11-02T11:30:00.004-07:00

It is dark.

Candles are lit.

My mind is clear.

I am focused.

I am waiting on the iCloud.

Steve.
Please help me.

WHERE ARE MY DAMN CONTACTS FOR MY iPHONE??

Concentrate.
wait for it...
wait for it....

And while we are waiting...

WHERE IS MY CALENDAR FOR 2011 AND 2012???

October 31, 2011

2011-10-31T06:32:00.002-07:00

"Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen.

Voices whisper in the trees, 'Tonight is Halloween!'"

Dexter Kozen

how true, how true...

2011-10-28T08:57:00.003-07:00

"Human happiness has always its abatements; the brightest sunshine of success

is not without a cloud." Samuel Johnson

I don't know about you,

but I friggen hate

ABATEMENTS.

I hate the life cannot be perfect.

I hate that shit happens.

I hate that I don't have answers to questions.

I hate that I sometimes hate.

stuff.

not people.

I hate that I tell my kids not to use the word "hate" because

it is so intense, but it is exactly how I feel about stuff sometimes.

But I love that hate only lasts for a short time for me.

I love that driving though storms, in the literal sense, can totally

put things in your life in perspective.

When you see that yes, indeed -

The brightest sunshine of success is not without a cloud.

You have no choice but to stop and take notice.

Like I did after this last storm.

(Besides the fact that there also was a rainbow

and that in and of itself is pretty inspirational!)

Don't we all struggle at times?

My life is certainly not perfect,

and admitting that a good reality check kinda kick in the ass

is needed sometimes, is just what the doctor ordered.

If I was actually seeing a doctor.....

seriously?

2011-10-27T06:08:00.001-07:00

People actually eat lunch at this table?

Yup.

They do.

After these dirty pigeons hang out

here periodically throughout the day.

I see this when I go into the office

and having been wanting to take a picture of this filth.

'Cause I can't just take pretty pictures of my kids all the time...

ewww......

When things look bright...

2011-10-21T12:04:00.001-07:00

sometimes it takes me a while to notice.

Sometimes, even for a split second, I can get caught up

in the poor-me's....

for a second I say.

More often than not though,

things always turn around,

or something wonderful happens unexpectedly,

or I put things in perspective,

And I really understand that I am in control of

how bright my future,

Bill's future and my kids future really looks.

Funny thing - I was having a poor-me second, when I shot these photos.

I uploaded them and thought they looked almost like a painting.

It made me smile.

And it made me stop feeling so ridiculous.

And with that.

Good Friday.

And Good Weekend to All.

some things I hate about doing laundry

2011-10-20T11:24:00.002-07:00

Saying each and every time I am sorting the laundry,

"This is the last time I am going to turn Hannah's things the right way.

Next time she is washing them."

And never follow through on that.

Washing clothes Hannah hasn't even put on her body,

just because she flung them in her hamper along with her actual dirty items

and I guess, now THEY are dirty.

And cursing about that do -

and not ever doing anything about it.

Getting a practically empty hamper from Connor,

who swears up and down that he has collected EVERYTHING

from his bedroom and bathroom,

and then going in there and all but tripping on dirty clothes,

that in fact are NOT the same color of the carpet, so

I am pretty positive they don't blend in and he can't see them.

Just sayin'.

Sorting out the clothes from Connor and saying to myself,

Damn, this kid needs new underwear.

And then never remembering that until the next

time I am sorting through his laundry,

and I recall this endless-loop conversation I have with myself.

Finding a scorpion under the heap of wet towels in the hallway.

Noticing the fact that apparently Hannah and her friends spend

evenings at a time, creating "Flashdance" shirts out of all her old t-shirts

because not only do all the over-extended "boat neck" t-shirts need to be washed,

but so do all 264 itty bitty pieces of the t-shirts do too,

because they've wound up in the hamper as well.

No matter how often I buy Connor socks,

(while I am there and not buying underwear? I have no clue)

there are still two or three pairs of socks that are so stiff and nasty

from OBVIOUSLY wearing them more than once,

that OF COURSE need to be turned right side in...

which is just plain nasty.

Finding dirty clothes up on the top shelves of closets,

or in the hanging light fixtures,

or in the pockets of the pool table,

because either of my two boys decided

they are going to chuck their clothes when they take them

off, regardless of where they land.

And lastly -

Wondering if in fact, I am currently washing whatever item of clothing

Bill is going to ask if I washed, the next morning,

because more often than not, he is "needing" the item he'd worn

only a couple of days ago, even though I hit the laundry once a week. Twice

if we are all lucky.

I say - try wearing what is clean. Sorry the three pairs of black underwear are dirty,

but you have 18 pairs of "other" ones you can pick from.......

For me this makes,

the inevitable "missing sock" phenomenon

meaningless

here in our house.

And, in all fairness, I am sure that the lack of time I have

to get clothes folded and put away,

bugs the crap outta everyone when they have to rifle

through baskets of clean clothes.

K. Off to throw the next load in.

Getting my "Mommy" on

2011-10-17T09:46:00.001-07:00

The kids are just coming off of school break.

I asked them all at the beginning of break if they had any homework.

Hannah had a video project to work on.

So she got on it last Saturday. 2 of the 3 other girls who were part

of the project, came over the house. They were all kinda pissed off that the

fourth girl was off doing something else, instead of working on the video.

But they worked their tusshies off ALL DAY on Saturday.

And had a great time doing so.

I'd asked how the missing girl was going to be included,

since she wasn't part of the actual video,

and they figured she could edit it and that would be her contribution.

So fast forward to last night.

Bill, Hannah and I were in the car driving home from dinner,

when Hannah gets a text from one of the girls who was part of the

hard work the week prior. The missing girl was pissed that she wasn't part

of the project, didn't want part of the "editing", and it was "decided" that they had to re-do it.

Two fucking days before it's due.

(That would be me talking, am I am sure what my daughter was

THINKING)

(which is fine, she can curse all she wants in her head.....)

Anyhoo.

So I calmly ask Hannah how that is even gonna happen.

It was 7:30 - and realistically there was still time then.

She said they couldn't and it would have to be Monday.

Which for Hannah is completely impossible since her commitment

EVERY SINGLE DAY AFTER SCHOOL is swimming.

AND to boot, a HUGE invitational is Tuesday,

and she MUST be at practice. She CANNOT skip it.

Which is what the "texting" girl DID NOT GET,

even though, she too, is a swimmer.

So the last text pretty much said that they (the OTHER three)

were going to re-do the project without Hannah and that Hannah's

grade would suffer.

I'm sorry,

but OVER MY DEAD FUCKING BODY.

Not gonna happen.

Which is just about when I FLIPPED MY LID.

Hannah and I proceeded to scream at each other,

out of sheer frustration.

I want to help her through this-

but totally know that it cannot be about "mommy running to the rescue".

Hannah needs to stand up for herself here.
But my protective maternal instincts were on FIRE!
I was ready to drive down to the girls house to "discuss" this
in person. But today's way is the technological way -
through TEXTING.
Which I think is complete bullshit.
You cannot get your point across unless you confront the situation
IN. PERSON. PERIOD.

So it will be interesting seeing how today plays out at school.

She is feeling less pissed off, and a little more in control this morning,

just as I feel.

(admittedly as I write this my blood pressure is rising.....)

Lesson to my teenage daughter is -
friends can turn on you in an INSTANT.
Let 'em.
Just don't put up with any crap.
Stand up for yourself and for what is right.

The End.

It doesn't already suck that

2011-10-15T09:52:00.001-07:00

you have to, more often than not,

pay to use one of those air thingies at the gas station -

Sometimes - 25 cents,

even, 75 cents like this one...

but now you can pay with a credit card??? really?

for air?

wtf?

My baby who isn't a baby anymore

2011-10-13T11:29:00.001-07:00

crap.

You seriously could NOT ask for a better kid to have when you are 40.

He has brought happiness during the years of parenthood

when you are absolutely pulling your hair out because you

are dealing with pre-teen and teen "stuff".

He makes me BALANCED.

And I love that and I love him.

I'd guarantee if I asked Bill - he'd agree wholeheartedly!

So today is Garrin's Day.

Happy Sixth Birthday Bud.

Lots of love xoxoxo

And here is a snippet from his birthday party

we had on Tuesday.

It was at the McCormick Stillman Railroad Park.

Click here to check it out.

So happy to have found this place, in the heart of Scottsdale,

somewhere where you'd least expect it!

Garrin's Sixth Birthday - picture slideshow

sometimes

2011-10-11T05:22:00.001-07:00

there are really
just
no words

Drink this all up...
she's all mine.

Fall is here, part deux

2011-10-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Nothin' brings on a headache,

or a queasy stomach,

better than watching your kid go back and forth on his bike

about a hundred times.

But Garrin was dang cute doing it.

He was a bit apprehensive getting back on. He did not ride for most

of the summer, partly because his tires would have melted into the asphalt,

being that is was about 115 degrees the last 6 or 8 months.....

ok, maybe 3 or 4 tops,

but it was too freaking hot to ride a bike,

is what the point is here.

Anyway - the next couple times he will be going at full speed

right along side Connor, I am sure!

Another great day here, weather wise.

Just LOVING it!

Herbst means "autumn"

2011-10-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

No. Really. It does. In German.

The waitstaff at the German restaurant at Epcot

in Florida asks us if we know that, every time we go there......

Pretty cool.

Anyway.

Let's celebrate the fact that

Herbst is fricken finally here in Arizona!!

Happy Fall

means back to playing outside for the kiddos.

This installment is dedicated to Connor.

Garrin is on for tomorrow!

Hannah - well.....she doesn't play outside anymore......

I was totally taking my life in my hands taking these shots,

as Connor was enjoying taking his shots....

and a good morning it is

2011-10-04T07:26:00.002-07:00

While admittedly I told myself last night when I went to bed

that I would hit the gym this morning AFTER dropping Hannah

at the pool at 4:45 a.m. this morning, and completely talked myself

out of it, without much hesitation, about 2 seconds into getting up -

I still was able to find joy in the wee hours today.

Now I know, not much can match the joy I feel, when going to the gym....

well, possibly, the joy I feel when having a cavity drilled,

or trying to squeeze my fat ass into some of my most favorite jeans,....
THAT is joy, I tell ya...

maybe I should re-visit the idea of the gym at 4:45... or just

continue to go at 9:00 which is way more realistic for me....

anyhoo.

joy,

this morning,

back on point.

How does that grab you?

Now not much in the sense of good for the body kinda morning,

but certainly a good for the mind and soul kinda morning.

when you just get that feeling....

2011-10-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

that it's gonna be a good day.

Something good is gonna happen.

That you are in a good place.

Well that is how yesterday was.

We ended up picking Hannah up from practice and

going directly to the Cardinals/Giants game.

Once she got in the car,

there was this feeling in air.

Kind of indescribable.

But I whispered to Bill if he felt it.

The feeling that we were, all five of us,

in the car, actually going

TOGETHER

to do something.

We were not in "drop-off" mode,

which typically we are certainly not all in the

car at the same time. But running in fifteen

different directions all at once, separately.

It was really wonderful

~~to listen to the three kids argue all the way there.~~

So once we got close to the stadium,

we got more and more excited to see the Giants.

Then this guy pulled out in front of us.

I took it as a sign.

That we were going to see a great game.

Which we did.

All 5 of us!

It was about time

2011-10-01T05:35:00.001-07:00

I actually got over being pissed off and/or sarcastic

about my teenage daughter.

We had a tough week on and off.

But this morning was the second day in a row she got up at 3:50 a.m.

Yesterday - to go to morning practice.

Today - to head to an Invitational meet for High School, down in Tucson.

I've GOT TO cut her some slack sometimes.

Ahh. Such is the roller-coaster ride called

Parenting A Teen.

Wouldn't trade it for anything just the same.

Makes me stronger, but best of all,

it makes her stronger.

~~and hopefully NOT the bitch I am.~~

So she is off with her team.

While it is still dark out,

and the sun hasn't even come up over the mountains yet.

This meet is very important for her.

I hope she makes it all she wants it to be.

Good Luck Hannah!

Sweet! It's Friday!

2011-09-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

And on this "Sweet Friday"

I am taking sweet up a notch.

And who better to do that with but my Garrin.

~~because my other two are driving me crazy and don't deserve a blog post.~~

So Garrin's been asking to make

Brownies

with frosting

AND sprinkles.

Very specific. Not sure where he saw those, or how he came

up with that thought, but we finally got around to it last night.

I'm sorry....I was distracted by my kids mile long eye lashes.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah.

He was so pleased with himself.

Even shared them with the other two monsters.

Here's hoping you have a sweet end to your week.

what happens in kindergarten

2011-09-29T06:58:00.001-07:00

stays in kindergarten......

unless you happen to volunteer.

I got to go into the classroom yesterday.

The local fire department was coming and the kids were going to

get to listen to a fireman talk about his job, and then check out the truck.

Since I have the pleasure of being the co-Room Mom this year,

I offered to go in to take pictures.

The truck was super cool. And the kids were in awe, being up close and personal with it!

Garrin got in a little social time,

chatting it up with his buddies.

But that didn't last long.

He hooked up with his girl shortly thereafter.

and did NOT let her go.......

Totally uncaring to who was watching......

As they say...

"ahhh......young love...."

Come on though...

In Kindergarten????

Garrin - step away from Ava. Let's focus.

On school. And learning how to read please.

She is pretty darn cute though.

Dust storms are good for something

2011-09-28T06:47:00.001-07:00

The dust that lingers in the air,

makes for good sunrise or sunset photos.

Does that even make any sense??

This was yesterday morning.

You have to live here to appreciate this theory, I guess.

And that being said - I leave you with this thought,

this Wednesday...

"The roots of all goodness lie in the soul of appreciation for goodness"

Dalai Lama

I thought I would give equal time

2011-09-27T06:51:00.002-07:00

to those parents who don't go through some of the same struggles

or deal with some of the same issues that some of us do,

or just plain think they have it in the clear.

Today's post is for you.

I don't happen to live in this fantasy.

Ok - This sarcasm has truly helped me get over this.

Onto better things.

and a Happy Tuesday!

The names have been changed

2011-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

to protect the innocent - I mean..

the guilty.

So here we have the short and condensed

AND

less pissed off version of my weekend.

What good a little time and space does

a congested, angry, hurting mind. Good enough to be able

to sort through it all and write it down.

So the madness started on Thursday.

My daughter, Anna had told me that she was NOT planning on attending the

Homecoming football game at the High School on Friday night.

There was a big Invitational that she was swimming in on Saturday

morning - and this decision was the first of I'd hoped, many,

good decisions she would be making for the rest of the weekend.

It was a FULL weekend, suffice it to say.

So the alarm goes off for her Friday morning at 3:50 am, and

I truly admire her for her 1. ability to get up and function so early

on some days and 2. do it without an attitude - sometimes with

excitement! So she did that and then proceeded to go to school.

Come home and get ready for her second swim workout of the day.

Again - without complaint. She proceeded to tell me she'd decided to go

to the game for 1 hour. So I picked her up from practice and dropped her off

at the game - much to the dismay of her club coach AND her

high school coach. But whatever. She's a teenager. A freshman.

And she works hard to maintain some semblance of social life,

while working hard at school and at the pool.

One hour turns into three.

Fast forward to the next morning where she has to be up and on the bus

to the meet by 6:15. A text from her after getting to the meet, was to

inform me that she would be catching a ride home with a parent that I do not

know, but one of a kid on her team. This was after my set-in-stone rule of - any away

meet that I did not attend meant she was to ride the bus back to school.

I could have said no. But I didn't. Like an idiot, because that was where the

day slid downhill. So the aforementioned "late night out" translated into a

crappy meet. Which was relayed to me by text, after a few sarcastic ones from

me - obviously typed with ALL CAPS. 'Cause that's just how we roll now -

we talk to our kids over text. And to relay the importance of what we have to say,

we do it in capital letters. Awesome. Not how I'd want it, but let's be real,

it is just how it is.

It is also, the day of the Homecoming dance, of which we bought a lovely dress

for Anna to wear, along with some lovely jewelery. Now plans were set that

she would be getting dressed at a friends house and I would head down before

they left to take pictures. That special moment - your daughter's first homecoming.

So apparently coming off the shitty meet, Anna decides she is going to go directly,

and I mean, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $100,

directly TO her friends house

right

after

the

meet.

Four whole hours before the dance.

So she "stops by", comes in the front door, marches right into her room,

"protected" by her friend (because surely Mom and Dad won't flip out on me while

my friend is in the house), gets her things and leaves at lightening speed, with a

quick little goodbye thrown at us from the front door.

BUH BYE

More texting proceeds between the two of us.

And guilty as charged.

The F word is flying.

all

over

the place.

I am livid.

Beyond pissed off.

But what's done is done.

She spend the next 4 hours at her friends house.

She popped back in to collect $25 to get into the dance,

because I refused to bring it to her,

about the same time I refused to take pictures.

Standing on the principal of the matter.

And I never felt worse in my 14 years of parenting.

The worse part of this. I consider myself a pretty strict parent.

Really. But shit sometimes just gets OUT of CONTROL.

And I may just be the one to let it get that way.

Scary.

And as I type this I say.

She is a good kid.

But a good kid in the day of being able to take

advantage of, or manipulate situations

way easier than it was WAY BACK WHEN.

Which brings me to my son and yesterday. Who too, is a good kid.

So I ask Conrad to do a grade check. Because I am a strict mom,

right? And I am riding them both like a pony, about their grades. So he

kinda sorta logs on and say "My grade went up a tiny bit in English."

So between the haphazard log on and a very non-informational answer

to the grade question, I told him to log on and I was going to

LOOK, you know - with my own two eyes.

As I sit and proceed to go through his grades - 4 A's, 2 B's

(his answer yielded 1 B and 5 A's........)

and then click into each subject I am noticing 1 or 2 F's per subject.

Let the flipping out begin. Everything else - A's.

Come to find out the F's?? Homework. Not turned it.

WHAT THE FUCK??

Does the homework. Doesn't turn it in. Or turns it in late - which is an automatic F.

Perfect.

So I then decide I am going to rip through his backpack.

Besides the unbelievable lack of organization, I stumble across

at LEAST 4 extra credit assignments......

done

and not turned in.

All of this? He has no explanation.

none

Doesn't know why he doesn't turn his assignments in.

All this before a swim meet.

So I told him

take all the hate he had for me that morning,

for ripping into him the way I did,

out in the pool

(which he did, by the way)

So that's it in a nutshell.

My friggen weekend from hell.

Feels good to write it all down.

Felt good to dump this all on a couple of my friends today even.

Makes you realize a couple things.

1. We are not alone in this. All parents struggle.

2. Bad shit happens to good people and good kids.

It's all in how it ends.

We talked.

We understood one another.

We know how to proceed from here.

And we love each other regardless.

Because honestly, there are parents who don't care.

I won't ever apologize for my caring

occasionally emerging in some screaming and cursing and door slamming.

borrowing words from connor

2011-09-24T09:28:00.003-07:00

Go Me.

Today is my 4th anniversary of starting this blog.

4 years of this.

holy cow.

4 years of writing.

i have never considered myself a writer,

let alone a consistent one,

or a good one,

or a funny one.

but (pat yourself on the back gini)

i think i've done that

so far

successfully.

so here's to the ups

the downs

the sarcasm,

the ranting,

the photography (that totally rocks it!),

the people that follow,

and most of all -

the good feeling i get after posting.

it's been fun.

it's been real.

that's the best part.

a big shout out

2011-09-23T08:09:00.004-07:00

to Hannah's coach - Coach Joe - for making sure the pool was all in order for the kids to practice at the literal crack of dawn this morning.Otherwise I would not have been able to capture this shot.

The only thing I did to this photo was sharpen it up a bit.

No color adjustment.

What perfection...capturing the essence of this "western-styled" part of the desert.

And how super awesome is this coloring -

seeing as it is the first day of Fall.

AND

it's going to be 107 degrees!

FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN....where is some cool weather?

like

2011-09-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

Did you know that like

just recently Garrin like

says like

like

all the time??

Like

I don't even like

know where he learned to like

talk like that.

Just look at like

how big he is getting.

Like

I can't even like

believe it.

Seriously.

It is driving me crazy.

It's almost as crazy as how often I say -

SERIOUSLY?

I've been on hold.....kinda

2011-09-21T15:38:00.002-07:00

I guess on hold is really not true.

Who's life gets put on hold????

I am in overdrive personally,

but the blogging has certainly taken a hit.

So yes. The blog's been on hold.

Wanted to quickly post these pictures I'd taken quite a while ago.

I am between two computers right now.

My desktop is now at my "office" (more on that later),

and the laptop is at home.

So whichever I've downloaded pics on - who the hell knows,
it's not easy finding them.

At the office right now - so here you go.

I'd taken these very photos,

before I black and whited (?) them,

lowered the saturation to a sepia tone,

with still a little blue sky,

uploaded them to Shutterfly

to print them LARGE and IN CHARGE

to mount and hang at Global Superabrasives.

I will post pics of those beauties once I get them.

AND pics of the new office.

It been fun,

time consuming,

hectic,

overwhelming,

but amazing just the same.

Hence - no blogging.

Be back soon though.

Happy Hump Day.

or Hump Night.

Ok - that didn't sound right......

It's 5:00 somewhere, right????

I don't know what to think...

2011-09-02T06:19:00.003-07:00

about high school swimming.

I thought for sure I would be a Club SwimMom Snob.

(only thinking club swim was what my kid needs)

And to some degree I do....kinda.

What I saw yesterday, in the pool,

was expected. As a freshman - she does pretty good for herself

against any and all upper classmen. OK - she rocks it....

But what I saw outside of the pool, what pretty neat as well.
She will definitely take away something positive from High School Swimming.

This is a picture of Hannah and one of her club swim competitors, Katie,

who is super fast too. They are total buds. They have a love and a respect

for each other, which is pretty amazing. But here in high school, they are teammates.

It is sort of weird to see Hannah with a cap on representing a different team...

a HIGH SCHOOL team (I just threw up in my mouth...)

Part of what is interesting about high school swim, is wondering how the coach reacts and interacts

with club swimmers. With Hannah's team, the coach requires ONE mandatory practice

with him for USA Swimming swimmers, and allows her to still workout with her club for the remainder of the week. It has become very apparent that while Hannah fulfills her one day mandatory requirement, the coach has a hair across his tusshie about her dedication

to club and not to him.

Why, like my sister said, would he cut off his nose, to spite his face?

Who knows.

Caught this one example actually - with my camera.

Here is a picture of Katie and Hannah, after warmup,

checking the sheet of events where Hannah was entered in

only one event and one relay........

Hannah's got that - "It figures" look on her face, and Katie is pretty much in disbelief.

Good idea, Coach. Don't swim your second fastest swimmer. Teach her a little

lesson, eh?

Funny thing is - he penciled her into another event AND another relay right before the

meet started. I am going to tell myself that it was because Bill and I actually showed up

AND Bill timed. wink wink

Whatever. Stupid petty shit. Let's get back to Hannah....

She swam great and is sure to be included in all future meets, I am confident.

wink wink, again

Her fly looked exceptionally good last night and she asked me to post these pictures

so her old coach and her new coach, for club, could see.

So here you go.

Check out Hannah's reflection in the next few.

Pretty cool shots, if I do say so myself.

It was nice to see all the kids gather together and the camaraderie they all share.

Hannah says that not one of them treats her or Katie any different or as an outsider,

seeing as the two of them kick everyones butt......and are freshman. I know

from being a teenager, that respecting one another and being nice isn't always

one's first option when going through such an insecure time in their life.

Just a part of growing up, I know. So - so far - so good...

My last thought in all of this...

how this differs from club.

Well.

Boys

and more Boys.

Boys that I do not know.

Boys that my daughter likes.

And boys that like my daughter.

I'm going to end on that note.

And go buy some long pants and turtlenecks for Hannah.

I love my husband

2011-09-01T04:59:00.001-07:00

and am completely 100 percent behind him and all his efforts in his business.

And now that it is growing and expanding and getting busier and busier,

I am finding that he is including me in some things that pertain to his work.

I am so proud of what he has accomplished this far, is looking forward to tackling,

and am extremely grateful that he wants me by his side as part of this venture.

Most days though, this is what I hear.

Blah blah blah superabrasives blah blah blah blah

corner radius blah blah blah blah diamond blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blade blah blah blah OD blah blah blah blanchard blah

tooling blah blah blah lathe blah blah blah blah delivery blah blah blah

UPS RED blah blah part number blah blah blah honing

blah blah CNC blah blah blah resin bond blah blah tool holder blah blah blah

delivery blah blah grinding blah blah

blah blah relief blah blah shank blah blah angle blah blah manufacturing

my wife is awesome blah blah

blah glass blah blah blah optical blah blah blah precision blah blah blah

3/4 inch blah blah blah blah blah tungston carbide blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah scheduling blah blah blah purchase order blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah PCD blah blah blah optical blah blah blah ceramics blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah burr

blah 400 grit blah blah slurry blah blah blah coolant blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah my wife is still awesome

You are gonna be great,

even if I have to stand back and watch.

should we call the guidance counselor?

2011-08-31T06:28:00.001-07:00

I don't know what it is with

Hannah

and small animals.

She just has this soft spot for them,

just around the same time I am thinking

"please do not touch that thing..."

I have often told her that she may want to explore the possibility

of studying to be a veterinarian. Somehow get involved in taking

care of animals,

because we all know that there is not much money in

Swimming as a career or Just Standing Around Looking Pretty....

A baby morning dove flew into the living room window yesterday,

knocking it silly. Hannah to the rescue:

After she loved on it for a while,

and put it in a box in her room for a while,

while she got ready for school,

we convinced her that once its headache went away,

it would be fine and fly away -

as it did.

I remembered when we were at my sister's house last year and

Hannah had a similar reaction to a lost baby squirrel......

I'm telling you.

Veterinarian.

It may be a calling.

Yet I've seen a couple of other things that my multi-talented daughter

may want to consider as a career.

Fashion Designer, perhaps.

It's almost like magic when she gets a pair of scissors in her hands, don't you think?

Or perhaps a scientist.

for Pizza Hut.

She seems to occasionally perform experiments

with Garlicky Breadsticks, logging information on how many days they can

sit on your desk in your room before starting to mold.....

Just sayin'...

This kid is gonna make it big someday.

Either that or she better get on Millionaire Matchmaker.

yesterday sucked

2011-08-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

big time

But I preempt this post by saying

I know my grumpiness is coming at a time where many

people are dealing with the aftermath of the hurricane,

and I truly know that I could have it a lot worse right now.

I'm gonna bitch anyway.

quickly

While it was a culmination of a lot of different things,

it was entirely my own fault.

My bad mood just kept getting worse

because of me.

I couldn't seem to "get over" anything.

I felt like I couldn't get out of my own way.

I seriously considered going back to bed.

It was almost like my body wanted to do that,

and my head was agreeing.

Yesterday

I was my own worst enemy.

Today is a new day.

And I thank God I get another chance.

Happy Tuesday.

10 hours of therapy

2011-08-29T09:51:00.001-07:00

Split up into two - five hours sessions.

And it was free.

Drove to Vegas on Thursday,
returned home on Friday.
I love this drive. It is long but peaceful.
Deserted but beautiful.
Not a better time to spend alone,
just thinking,
contemplating,
wondering,
believing,
seeing
LIFE.

It has done wonders for me.
Try it some time.

See below for the details of the session.

Talking with a dear dear friend,
having dinner with some crazy friends.
Surprising others.
Singing at the top of my lungs.
Taking pictures.

Free therapy Rocks.

**disclaimer: so does PAID therapy too!!
wink, wink

boo hoo hoo

2011-08-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

As planned, Garrin and I headed up to school a wee bit later than usual.

Today would be the first day that he would walk into the gates and onto the playground

him

self

dammit

And that he did.

Walked in.

Solo.

As I flopped on the ground, kicking, screaming and bawling...

ok I didn't,

but I wanted to.

I stood there watching my youngest go off on his own,

to join his friends on the playground.

Did I say dammit yet?

But what can I expect. Look at this kid.

He is growing up - the spitting image of his brother.

And don't you know, I could photoshop a mustache on and put moles all over this kids face

and he'd still be adorable.

Oh and it's only Monday. Can I do this all week? We shall see.

the backstory

2011-08-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

Well, we knew we had plans with our friends Leslie and Dean to go get

tattoos last night. And Bill and I had discussed getting matching tattoos -

something symbolic of our three kids.

So we'd decided on stars. One each to represent the three.

But a final design hadn't been picked. I knew in my mind which one

I wanted and assumed Bill would go along with me

~~if he knows whats good for him.~~

But to my surprise, he'd chosen a different design and looking logically at it,

my little wimpy design would have been lost on his gigantic ankle.

I mean, it's like the size of Alaska for godsakes....

Anyhoo.

He had discussed it with the kids and got some personalized feedback from them.

~~suck up~~

But there was still a little surprise.

He was holding back on me.

And the kids.

Connor to be exact.

So here is his tattoo.

No I am not the slightest bit bitter at the fact that his tattoo is WAY bigger

than I thought it would be. No I don't think he was in any way looking to out shine

me..... ahem.. Back on point. See the words "Go Me" on one of the stars?

That is Connor's star.

Check out the pic below.

Seriously.

How FLIPPING AWESOME is that?

one of those days

2011-08-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

If you are friends with Bill on Facebook,

and read his status today,

you would know that he is having a

"What the hell are people thinking"

kinda morning, as he travels back home.

Which is funny because on MY way home from

dropping Hannah off at the pool this morning,

I thought the same thing.

What the hell is this lady thinking?

It's 9 am

AND

it's 95 degrees out.

today may not have started off so well,

2011-08-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

but this quote surely rings true:

For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every day has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously.

~George Gissing

You take the good with the bad right?

Thought posting these photos of our amazing sunsets here,

was apropos after our haboob last night.

Kinda mimics life.

I bet you've never chased a haboob

2011-08-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

one minute you are...

2011-08-17T05:26:00.001-07:00

almost two and wearing a swim diaper

and the next minute

you are eleven

and wearing a swim diaper.......

Kidding.

11 and growing up into a beautiful...

ok, not beautiful,

but handsome boy.

Handsome

just like his dad.

Happy Birthday's!!

What do you get...

2011-08-16T06:04:00.002-07:00

the two most awesome-est guys in the whole wide world for their birthday?

Today is Bill's birthday.

Connor's is tomorrow.

So the ideas do not come easy for when it comes to gifts for them.

They have everything already.

Tickets to sports games?

iTunes gift cards?

Game Stop gift cards?

Cologne?

~~New Underwear?~~

I was at a loss.

Until I saw this:

Ordering two.

Framing each.

One in Connor's bathroom.

One in ours.

Otherwise I'll be ordering one of these:

PERFECT!

a note to self

2011-08-15T09:10:00.001-07:00

Good morning Self.

Well. Let's put it this way. It was not a good morning a couple of hours ago.

Let's think about the lead up.

You washed and did NOT dry your hair yesterday.

Which in English means - the curl comes out.

Which was fine for yesterday.

It looked cute and all.

But this doesn't work to your advantage on day 2.

Now day two, brings no hair washing.

Since having had your hysterectomy,

you fear of going bald has been realized on a daily basis

for two reasons.

One - the amount of hair on your comb, the floor, the sink, the towel,

and in your hands after you wash it

and

Two - your investment in numerous Costco sized jugs of Drain-O.

All this - being why you shampoo every other day.

So.

Between The Curl, The Humidity, The Hot Flashes

it then takes you about

17 hours to straighten your hair and by that time you are looking

for Bill's clippers to shave your head,

you've headed into a room where you can stand directly under a fan,

or you've pretended to un-jam the ice maker just so you can cool

off in the freezer.

Let's just agree to NEVER try to straighten your hair

without washing it first.

You'll have way more time with your family,

and spend way less time bitching.

Have a nice day.

yin and yang

2011-08-12T14:46:00.001-07:00

BEFORE the sun came up today and

I was fully awake and had to take Hannah to morning practice......

and

AFTER the sun finally came up

and I had a cup of coffee and left to pick up Hannah.....

Yin and Yang "used to describe how polar opposites or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn."

How very true of this morning.

Asleep vs awake

No coffee vs coffee

Driving unknowingly vs paying attention

Good thing this is once a week...

today

2011-08-11T13:21:00.002-07:00

"when you love someone, all your

saved up wishes start coming out."

Elizabeth Bowen

I wish that teenagers could think how we, as adults, think.

Feel as we feel now.

React and understand like we do today.

Most of all I wish -

that they could have AWESOME, QUICK comebacks like we do

so they aren't hurt by painful words coming from

immature, jealous, low self esteem, and sometimes just plain cruel

individuals.

One saved wish?

Out.

where is the love people??

2011-08-10T08:17:00.003-07:00

Seriously.
It is right here baby.

Having three kids, I get to experience love three different ways.

While most wouldn't characterize the love from Hannah as actual love,

I don't have a choice but to do so.

Otherwise I'd have to sell her or something.

Other, more familiar words that pop into my head are

disrespectful

resentful

hormonal

and my brain is lacking here, but is there a word for

"just the mere fact that I exist and unfortunately by God's doing I am,

and always will be her mother" attitude?

Because really, sometimes I ponder all the day long,

what the hell was it that I did to set her off.

But love it is. It is just what teenage years boil down to at this point.

And I am truly grateful I have the opportunity to battle with her on

a daily basis. Thank you Lord.

Then there is Connor.

So much less drama.

Thus the kind of love shown by Hannah, is not present between Connor

and I. Connor has "unspoken love" for me.

You know. The kind that is apparent when, say.....you are around his friends.

School. Swim. The grocery store run-in. It doesn't matter.

It's that "loving" look he gives me all the while thinking -

"Hey. I love you Mom. But right now I am going to pretend you

are not right next to me."

I love unspoken love. It is understood.

It is kind.
Not real disrespectful in the "bite your head off, I'm never gonna
forget this, kinda, Hannah way".
It is also knowing. I know how it is.

Here is a prime example: I know in my heart that Connor would love

for me to cart his ass to school every day AND then pick him up

after. Not gonna. The rule here is - he rides his bike.

I am comfortable in knowing that he is not going to stew about it all

friggen day. He gets on his dang bike, and goes off to school.

no drama

Love that. And love him.

Then at the extreme opposite of the spectrum there is Garrin

and his flat-out most awesome-est five year old,

last child,

happy child,

love that he has for his mom.

I could rip the wii controller right out of his perfect little hands,

and he is smooching me and hugging me within 5 minutes.

While I understand it may be his short attention span, that affords me

the luxury of such love, I am going to eat it up as much as I possibly

can. I hope it never stops.

OK I take that back. I hope when this type of love

can be translated into

"Momma's boy" kinda love -

I stop it dead in it's tracks.

We'll have none of that around here.

And with that,

I've gotta run.

Time to walk hand in hand with my boy

to Kindergarten.

Have a Loving Wednesday!

The only problem I see...

2011-08-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

is if this kid doesn't start getting some homework.

Conquering all 87 levels of this game, will NOT help him learn how to read.

And it's time.

Tick Tock...

they are all mine

2011-08-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

and I am damn proud of that.

All three headed out today -

Kindergarten,

Middle School,

AND

High School,

pretty much drama free.

They looked super cute to boot - but without incident is always a plus!

As we left the school after walking Garrin up this morning,

a teary mom and dad walked along side of us and were upset about having left

their new Kindergartener crying....or screaming as they put it.

After I told them it would be OK, I explained that we, too, had a cry-er.

And today he walked straight into Middle School this morning without a problem.

And for that I am grateful.

Now granted, I had a hard time tearing Garrin away from the wii and his new

Phineas and Ferb game,

and Connor pretended we were not walking WITH him this morning

especially the closer we got to school,

and Hannah took two hours to do her hair,

all went perfect regardless!

Except I was left wondering one thing as Hannah, the last one out

this morning, walked to meet her friends.......

Granted she is not the sharpest pencil in the pencil box,

but who buys a

WHITE

backpack?

the end of the summer has arrived

2011-08-07T20:11:00.002-07:00

This in no uncertain terms means

NO MORE FOOLING AROUND.

It is seriously, time to get back to reality.

Tomorrow

fragrant rose petals will be floating down from heaven,
while pretty white unicorns prance merrily across the way,

running through double rainbows,

as my three kids

HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL.

halle-FRICKEN-lujah!

It will then be time to pick these pretty, and basically brand new sneakers.....

up outta the corner they have been laying in

ALL SUMMER LONG

and put them back on my slightly swollen feet,

and my 4 pounds heavier - FAT ASS

and get back to the gym.

No more vacations.

No more beach.

No more Disneyland.

No more eating out.

No more goofing off.

No more being lazy.

No more playing instead of cleaning/working/whatever-it-is-I-do-all-day.

It is also high time to get the laundry room

OUT

of my bedroom.

See below:

Hannah's basket!

The boys - in order - Bill, Connor and Garrin's baskets.

And lastly....

my basket.

Between

swim meets,

California,

the beach,

Disney,

Sedona,

more swim meets,

Bill traveling for work,

packing and unpacking,

and then re-packing....

(ahem....my playing wii...)

Washing, sorting, and...

ok - just washing and sorting I guess,

is about as far as the laundry has gotten for most of the summer.

So I look forward

~~booting each and every one of my beautiful children right out the front door~~

to having my days back,

to cook

and clean

~~and facebook~~

and wash clothes

and put mints on everyone's pillows,

and make everyone know

that I love being a wife and mom.

Regardless of the sarcasm.

State Champs!!

2011-07-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

Connor has had a pretty decent Long Course swimming season.

Hannah? Not so much.

Let's just say this girl has grown 4 inches in about 2 months and is now visibly taller than me.

Not just a little. But a lot.

But this weekend was a huge turnaround for Hannah, by day 2.

I am so proud of both of them,

for contributing all their efforts into helping win this State Meet

for Swim Neptune.

Our Head Coach Joe, his team, and his trophy!

And Coach Danny - The meet would have been a whole lot less FUN without him.

He got the kids so pumped up! He yelled. He jumped. He ran along the deck. He MOTIVATED!

His energy was on fire. And we instantly loved him!

Many Neptune swimmers got a chance to stand on the podium.

And even those that didn't - swam their butts off - each and every one of them.

It was an incredibly

LONG

HOT

SWEATY

SMELLY

TIRING

did I say HOT?

meet.

But worth every single moment there.

Soul Sisters

2011-07-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hannah and Olivia have been connected since birth. Hannah's birth

happened on Olivia's first birthday. And that day tied these two together forever.

They got to celebrate ON their day together last night.

Olivia turned 15 - Hannah turned 14.

There is nothing better than watching them together. They share the same zest for life.

Did I say zest for life?

Probably NOT what they would call it..........

Could there be anything more real than this kind of friendship?

And I promise,

that anytime Hannah pisses me off,

talks disrespectfully,

rolls her eyes at me,

gives me the arms,

or what have you,

I will pull up this blog post and remember that behind all the raging

girly hormones,

is a funny, sweet, silly, beautiful girl.

Somebody remind me to do that OK???

Happy Birthday Hannah!

2011-07-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

Fourteen years in the making and let's see what we've come up with.

This is a pretty accurate picture of what parenting this child for the last

14 years has resulted in.

She is a dip.

She is fun.

And silly.

And likable.

Sometimes lovable.

Extremely outgoing.

An all-around amazing teenager in my eyes.

Those are the same eyes that will be squeezing shut tightly

while I hold my breath

throughout the next 4 years

which hold

-high school

-driver's license

-dating

-attitude

(oh wait.....we have that now....)

-and all that I can't even imagine at this moment

while she grows into an adult.

Please Hannah.

For the love of God.

PLEASE do not make me want to start drinking

or smoking crack.

I love you!

How it always goes, right?

2011-07-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

I don't have my Canon,

and I want to take pictures and blog.

I have my Canon,

and I don't take pictures and blog.

What the heck?

Hurry up Mr. Fixer-Of-My-Camera.

I'm becoming quite impatient......

Have a nice day.

can you say "HABOOB"?

2011-07-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

haboob

strong wind that occurs along the southern edges of the Sahara in The Sudan and is associated with large sandstorms and duststorms and may be accompanied by thunderstorms. It usually lasts about three hours, is most common during the summer, and may blow from any direction. A haboob may transport huge quantities of sand or dust, which move as a dense wall that can reach a height of 900 metres (about 3,000 feet). The term haboob is taken from the Arabic word habb meaning wind.

Apparently this encyclopedia entry should be re-written to include Arizona.............

and in every welcome packet to new residents.

I tell you - this came as a complete surprise. Having lived in the desert of Nevada,

dust devils were a pretty common occurrence. But a haboob?? Never saw one.

Until Tuesday night.

And holy crap - what an experience.

Anyhoo.

I constantly feel like I need to take a shower after going outside.

I feel like ALL of Arizona needs a shower.

A rain shower - at least.

I wonder how long it will be, before you don't see foot prints where you've walked...

This shot here is from yesterday. Lotta dust still lingering in the air.

Bill's car - which is never in the garage has this nasty coating on it.

We grilled last night. Not that the grill is ever sparkly clean....ever.....BUT....ewww!

And we had a few UPS packages delivered......

One of which is my K-Cup order......which is still outside as a matter of fact.

The National Weather Service says we average about 4 of these a summer.

Let's hope not.

Crystal Cove 2011

2011-07-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

Headed to CA for the fourth of July long weekend to re-connect. The five of us at times, seem to be heading in FIVE different directions for extended periods of time, occasionally. When we finally realize that

we try to scoot in some time to get back together and ACT like we are a family. No better place than the beach. Or Disney. But we opted - BEACH this time.

The six hour drive was worth it.

I was able to capture my Annual Picture Of The Kids At The Beach That They Hate Having To Take. It's always a pleasure......trying to get this shot.

Though there are soooo many beaches to choose from, we always go back to Crystal Cove.

Semi-private, great rocky cliffs, perfect for boogie boarding/body surfing!

Oh - and a great place to work on losing

the white swim-cap line around your head......

Check out this guy.

Sat down with a bunch of "weeds, dude" and wove crowns and hats and the like

for some of the kids that gathered around him. Very cool.

I love this beach, too, because sometimes it is like my family is the only one there!

We are all pretty tan, except for my little whitey here.

I don't know who's complexion he got.....oh wait - that would be mine...

Garrin has officially joined the ranks of boogie boarding freaks!

His tentativeness left after his first successful ride.

Too bad he's not having a good time....

And Connor? Well, we weren't even all the way down to the shore,

let alone have our stuff unpacked and settled into the sand....

he was already in the water.

Love this one!

So - a great time had by all.

Thinking we may be able to sneak in another quick trip before school starts.

Oh yeah. That would be in about 4 weeks, by the way!

Yikes!

giddy...yup

2011-07-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

About 2 miles from our house, there are acres and acres of horse property. I forget at times that Arizona is very "western". These ranches are everywhere, but a concentration of them along the route I drive to and from the pool everyday.

Bill said that some of the horses at one of the properties, had some babies. And this morning I finally spotted them. They are so awesome......makes you feel a little "giddy" watching them "horse" around. (ha ha ha Thank you...I'll be here all week.....)

Check 'em out!

Well. We are getting all saddled up to get out of here this holiday weekend,

to head to Cali to get in some beach time. Kids start school in just over a month,

so we are jamming in all we can, before we can never leave the house again.......

Oh...and couldn't think of a better photoshop action to use than

The Pioneer Woman's Old West action.

Happy Day!

garrin

2011-06-24T16:37:00.004-07:00

It's just me and ding dong here for a couple of days, before I head off to Vegas,

while Bill and Connor are in San Diego, and Hannah heads home from her little vacation.

I haven't really written much about him lately. Actually haven't written lately period.

So let's see.

He lost his first tooth. I didn't realize how loose it was until one night be was chewing on a popsicle stick or corn dog stick or something, and out it popped. He was a little freaked thinking the stick made it come out. In fact, that may very well be the reason, but we calmed his nerves and tossed five bucks under his pillow. So what did he care at that point?

Next. He swims like a fish. A fearless fish....I guess that doesn't make sense. But anyhoo. Absolutely refuses to "swim" like Hannah and Connor. Which is fine. Until later on down the road when I have to drive to Timbuktu to get him to some other activity in the opposite direction of the JCC where Hannah and Connor are every day of their life. Instead, he is enjoying the pool out back. Jumping in. Doing flips. "Back Swim" as he calls it. Handstands. Twists. You name it. I'm tired just thinking about being with him in the pool.......

He is starting to test the waters with his brother and sister. Absolutely NOT putting up with anything they dish out to him, which is plenty - you know - 'cause they think he is 10 and not 5.... He has no problem getting right up in their face. I turn away and laugh. Not only can he dish it back well, someday he is going to be bigger and taller than both of them. I can feel it.... And then they are in trouble.

He has successfully conquered every Playstation 2 game that he is in possession of. Proudly. And obsessively. He asks to be logged on to youtube so he can watch the cheats. I'm not kidding. A boy on a mission, right? Unfortunately though, he cannot read. Still. Not interested. And to be perfectly honest, I am not interested in teaching him. I am too impatient. And I yell. Not a good combo for a cute little 5 year old, that I love and don't want to hurt. So it is what it is. He'll learn......eventually.

He continues to prove to us that he is a pretty smart kid. Comes out with shit that Bill and I look at each other and go "WHERE the hell did he learn THAT?". Loves to write his letters and draws pretty cool pictures. Sings and dances (for Seinfeld fans - a little like Elaine dances). And every single day - lives a happy existence.

Although there are moments like, when he crawls up into our bed at 2:00 in the morning, and I wanna kick his butt back into his own bed. I know that I won't. A. Because I'm lazy. and 2. Because I love him. So much. Even when he punches me in the head with his fist while he's sleeping.

He completely and totally makes having a kid late in life so very worth it.

I say that now.

Maybe not when I am 66 and he is just graduating college.

it has been brought to the forefront lately that...

2011-06-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

one mistake I made (one of numerous mistakes admittedly) almost 2 years ago,
is one that will never be erased.

Which made me remember this quote - one I've posted before.

"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant,
are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take,
they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go." Richard Bach

I truly believe this.

But am not stupid enough to see

how a mistake has changed my life forever.

I've made peace with this.

I think.
In the sense of my own well being.
I am not any less angry though.
Your Welcome...for the opportunity of manipulation.

1st Day of Summer

2011-06-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

yup...

one thing that means is the official start of swimsuit season.

And while we've all taken a dip in the pool out back

in the privacy of our own yard,

the time will come,

when I will have to brave the uncomfortable-ness

of some sort of public display.

for instance this upcoming weekend's trip to Vegas

to hang out by a pool and sip,

well...

whatever it is I will be sipping...and getting tan.

And I'm thinking a couple things.

Thank God I've lost 25 lbs

AND

I need to get me some "boot camp"

to tone up.

I need to rock being 46.....

So here's to my most favorite season.

I love summer!

I knew I loved Scottsdale...

2011-06-19T10:28:00.001-07:00

but I REALLY love Sedona....

We decided we would live there in a heartbeat...

until we remembered it snows there.

Here is a little snapshot into our couple of days there

to celebrate Father's Day.

just to set the record straight....

2011-06-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Driving home from Tucson, left time for a little reflection of the four whole days spent there.

By far the best thing was getting to have lunch with some old friends from Las Vegas!

The next best thing?

The Ostrich Farm!

Between the crazy ostriches,

the very cute deer ( I want one...)

the Sicilian asses...I mean donkey's,

the Whack-A-Goat display,

and the birds that totally overtake you 'cause "You've got nectar"...

the swim meet was pretty much a distant memory.

I think that's what put that way in the back of my mind -

or maybe it was just the so-so swimming that took place.....

just sayin'

come on...say it with me....

2011-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

aDorAbLE

so sweet

cuuuuuute!!!

awww.....

and I am not even talking about Garrin!

Check out this little family.....of quails.

Just sitting here

2011-06-03T22:37:00.000-07:00

It's about 10:30 pm and there is a very good possibility that the extremely large quantity of

homemade green iced tea I've consumed throughout the day, is what, in fact, keeping me awake

so late. Though it apparently does NOT have a lot of caffeine in it. Who knows.

Nonetheless. I am sitting here after finally finishing reading

the gi-normous book - I Know This Much Is True

by Wally Lamb.

I took me freaking forever. I even read another book in between.

Anyhoo.

Bill is sitting on the other couch

COMPLETELY ENGROSSED in Steven Tyler's new book -

Does The Noise In My Head Bother You?

He started tonight and is halfway through the book already.

I think he skips pages.

I've had that argument with him before.

He skims....that's how he finishes so quickly.

I re-read sometimes. I absorb.

The point is - he snatched up the book before I could get my hands

on it - I will now have to make another choice.

So. That being said.

I decided to grab my laptop,

update my twitter and my facebook,

stalk a couple new friends I have,

and open up my stinking blog

that I haven't come near in nearly a month.

What the hell?

Hello - Tao of Gini

Lack of time.

Lack of motivation.

Lack of photos.

Certainly NOT for lack of material.

Maybe though, it is the plethora of thoughts that have been

running through my mind.

The clash of good versus evil with my thinking.

The confusion of feelings.

The good stuff mixed with the bad crap.

I just can't get it down in words.

So let's see.

Let's see what happens.

I've missed my blog.

I've missed the catharsis of writing.

We will see....

For now - off to bed.

Kids have an early morning....for the next two months.....

everyday

for swimming

that they love

and that I oblige...

It's all good.

GOODNIGHT Tao of Gini

Is it silly...

2011-05-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

that I make Hannah stand on a crate when we take pictures together?

Ok.

I'm totally lying.

She's as tall as me.

Ok.

I'm totally lying.

She is a little taller than me.

Well - Middle School is coming to an end for this girl.

She is in full "end of school/party" mode,

and I am keeping my fingers crossed that she stays

focused on school for the remaining two weeks.

I will say this again, because I am sure I've said it before....

I do NOT know how she keeps it all together -

her life - the balance between school work/school friends/swimming/swim friends.

And with the Perfect Storm brewing -

swim meets,

high school swim meetings,

graduation,

parties,

Meme visiting,

and everything else on her calendar,

the next two weeks will be

interesting...to say the least.

I love her.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T17:38:00.001-07:00

There is nothing better than winding down an amazing Mother's Day filled with going out for breakfast,

hitting a great movie, lounging around the pool and swimming, a quick and easy dinner at home,

a little bike riding practice,

writing a quick blog post,

searching for LAST YEARS Mother's Day photo

and saying.........

WTF

HAPPENED TO MY KIDS AND HOW COME THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE THIS ANYMORE????????

my second, very unofficial and very amateurish

2011-04-28T17:50:00.002-07:00

photo shoot.

Or as I like to call it.....

driving the car up to the top of my street into the desert,

with a bunch of rings, tiara's, various footwear, bubbles,

a pair of goggles, a rickety old chair,

AND TWO BEAUTIFUL TEENAGERS.

and my Canon.

Oh and yes - the director/stylist of the photo shoot -

my friend Leslie.

These girls are ridiculously gorgeous.

Keep in mind after viewing these 7 of over 300 shots,

that we have since locked them up and have thrown away the keys....

so..

2011-04-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

what's up?

It's been what? 2 weeks since my last blog post?

Certainly not for the lack of material to write about.

Just busy-ness and I've been super tired lately.

So let's back the truck up....

and start with this whole diet thing.

Been on this kind of high protein - low (practically NO) carb diet for

about 7 or 8 weeks.

Bill says it's kinda like The Paleo Diet which is basically,

if you can pick it you can eat it - type of diet.

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT IT

So I've lost a fair amount of weight

and of course Bill has lost practically a whole person........

~~bastard~~

I am pretty happy with the weight loss, but the downfall

to eating lots of protein and no carbs is

hello?

NO ENERGY.

So blogging has taken a back seat to naps.

Kidding.....kind of.

I am definitely needing a nap every now and again,

but at night when I typically write a blog post -

dead tired.

Not complaining here.

Just stating the facts.

We all know diets SUCK BIG TIME,

but my ass is thanking me right about now.

Which now brings me to the gym.

Which too, is cutting into possible blogging time. How?

Well. My mornings consist of

getting the kids ready and off to school,

I hit the gym for an hour or so,

head home,

have a protein shake or some breakfast,

take a shower,

dress, makeup and hair.

Then it's about lunch time.

I gotta tell ya' -

"ME time" takes up a lot of time.

And I fricken hate that. The sense of wasting time.

Which is why I have not become one with the gym yet......

Sometimes I dread going,

but by the time I'm outta there - I am feeling so glad for going.

And working hard.

Again - my ass is thanking me......

So the lack of blogging has not been

1. because my kids aren't beautiful, or amazing, or smart, or funny, or

just plain "Garrin"

(which I think should become an adjective - to describe the happiest thing on the planet.

"Going on rollercoasters makes me feel so Garrin.....")

2. or because I haven't had the opportunity to take some great photos -

because I have taken a few....which will be a future blog post.

3. or because I haven't gotten pissed off about something or someone that I just

wanted to spout off about in writing.

4. or because I haven't had fun with friends or dates with Bill to write about.

5. or because I don't have anything cool that I am looking forward to.

6. or because I am not reading the most awesome-est book ever right now

to share with everyone.

well - you get me.

So I am saying this right here, right now.

I'm gonna eat more carbs.

No.

Well, yes I am introducing some carbs back in.

So hopefully

I will wake the f*ck up

and start writing more consistently.

I've missed my blog.

yes, yes...

2011-04-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dinner last night was so good. And the company even better!

We had a chance to go some place we'd been wanting to go.

Roka Akor

And our evening went a little like this.

Started off with 2 orders each of Soft Shell Crab Roll and Hamachi Serrano Chili Roll.

The Hamachi was to die for for sure.

But wait.

We then slowly slid down a fantastic raw oyster, that was heaven in a little salty shell.

But wait.

We then had 2 orders of assorted sushi of which we insisted it included some

yummy yellowtail.

But wait.

That heaven in a little salty shell? Yeah. Had another. Like a palate cleanser almost.

ahhhhh.....

But wait.

We then had the most moist, perfectly prepared lamb chop and some grilled corn and

zucchini to blow your mind.

But wait.

We capped all that with a double espresso.

But the best part of the whole night?

You JUST WAIT.....

Check this out:

HOW AWESOME IS THIS TOILET????

(yes i took my camera out of my purse and took a picture of the potty.)

the saying goes

2011-04-09T06:41:00.002-07:00

love conquers all

right?

more people should realize that

more people should live that

backfired

2011-04-08T06:31:00.003-07:00

Let me start out by saying Garrin has a student teacher in his classroom now,

in addition to his teacher and the aide.

Everyday the kids have an opportunity to earn a clock.

A green clock - for following all the rules.

A blue clock - for breaking a rule/rules.

If you go to red? Well, no stinking clock for you. You are just in big trouble...

So the past few days Garrin has been making it his priority to come home

with as many blue clocks as possible. I don't know if it's own personal test

to see how many he can accumulate in one week or what, but he is on a roll.

So Bill spoke to the teacher's aide Wednesday and she explained that the new

student teacher, who is sweet, fun and YOUNG, has been passing those blue clocks out

as fast as the Henderson Police Department was handing me speeding tickets

sometime back........

anyhoo.

So Garrin comes out of the classroom yesterday when I picked him up. I could see

the new blue clock in his hand and he was tearing up a little.

Yes, my heart sank at the same time that I was getting pissed that he'd misbehaved..again.

Wierd feeling.

So we starting walking home and he proceeded to hand me the big yellow super-star he'd

gotten for standing in line quietly, and tried to hide the blue clock from me.

When I asked about it, he really had difficulty explaining what had happened.

Typical for a five year old and I wasn't going to push the point too far.

But I did tell him that there would be consequences for getting yet another BLUE.

After five minutes of explaining exactly what "consequences" meant, I told him what the

consequence would be. It went a little something like this:

Me: "Well, Garrin. I am going to have to take away your television."

Garrin: "Why?"

Me: "Because that is your punishment."

Garrin: "What is punishment?"

Me: "Well a punishment is what your consequence is. I have to take away

something that you really like."

Garrin: "Oh good. Finally."

Me: "What? What do you mean?"

Garrin: "It's ok Mommy. I don't really like my TV so it's ok that you take it away."

Me: "Really? Are you serious?"

Garrin: "I am not kidding Mommy. I don't want the TV in my room anyway.

And now Connor won't come in and watch it in my room."

So now what do I do?

I have a feeling that my 5 year old would take this route with ANYthing I tried to ground him

from..............

In response to

2011-04-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

my newly confirmed citizenship status as a Canadian on Facebook.....eh?

Damn straight folks.

I am a Canadian citizen.

So let's travel in the time capsule back to the beginning of

~~the dysfunctional~~

1965.

Stories be told,

and 8mm films the proof,

apparently

my strict Roman Catholic and let's add Italian on top of that to give you the

full effect of the impact of what when down, mother, of a proud immigrant family

right off the boat

ran off with my ~~questionable~~ father to Canada?

Why? Because she was pregnant with me....

and was escaping from the life she'd been living with my grandparents

to be the rebel in the family.

I guess as some point in time we all get our "rebel" on when it comes to our parents.

I did it....

They say "Do this and do it this way" and You say "I don't think so. Watch this...."

So back in the day, I guess crossing the border was no biggie.

I know they headed up through Maine,

and landed in Ontario.

Low and behold, in June of 1965, I popped out.

It is said that the rescue occurred shortly thereafter.

I laugh every time I think about it or have to reiterate this story.

Rescue.

But that, in all essence, is what went down.

My grandmother, grandfather, my mother's aunt and uncle, all drove to

my birthplace,

first off - to see how adorable I was of course.

But to bring everyone home,

to the United States...

I mean....somebody had to teach me how to curse in Sicilian..come on!

So I literally think I was a resident of the fine country of Canada for only a few short months,

if that.

Fast forward to 1983ish. I think.

My mother had had a car accident and was paralyzed from the waist down.

My parents marriage was in turmoil.

And I remember going into the basement - where my mother couldn't go at that

point in time. I think my sister was with me.

I started rifling through a case full of papers.

And I'll be damned I found out a whole lotta stuff about our family that day.

Let's start with the fact that my parents marriage certificate had the date of May 1966.

Hello? Born in '65 ova' here!!! I was a bastard child!! Interesting, but whatever.

That's pretty much common practice these days, huh?

But as I read that I was thinking back to 1965 and what that meant to a

Roman Catholic Eye-Talian family back then. Holy crap.

Which led to interesting-item-number-2.

The reason my parents were not married was.....

dun.dun.duuuuuu.

My father was already married!!

Interesting-item-number-3?

I had two half-brothers.

He'd left the wife and his two sons to run off with my mother.

AWESOME.

So the whole citizenship status was never in the forefront of my mind.

There was no necessity to investigate it.

Only thing that made that come into play was years and years ago,

when Bill and I had traveled to an island somewhere.

We were coming back home and when I'd gone through immigration at the airport,

I got hassled. I call it hassled, they called it doing their job.

Which is indeed what it was. I was just nervous and scared that I wasn't going

to be let back into the US. So I grabbed onto my first line of defense and became a

bitch to the officer. Until Bill intervened and shut me up.

Long story short I got back in,

and just carried on with my life.

Well it's 2011 and I wanted to get passports for all of us.

Heck...with my 13 year old capable of traveling by herself - it sure sounds like

a good idea. PLUS I made a bucket list and on that list was to once and for all

found out what my status is.

And it is that ....

I have no status here.

dammit

So at this point in my 45 years here,

it's a good gosh darned thing that I married a US Citizen.

He will now have to petition for me.

Which takes up to 3 years for the whole process.

Sounds a little like the movie The Proposal....sorta

So I am feeling a little bit more confident about actually becoming legal.

This would have all be prevented if my mother had filed papers for me

after she'd brought me back into this country.

I am thinking she had a lot on her plate back then.

eh?

Go here,

2011-04-04T19:42:00.001-07:00

and buy this:

What is this? The Holstee Manifesto.
Where is here?
Holstee

Click here to visit their website.

"Kickass products, sustainably made, with a social impact"

The above is their company's philosophy.

It should be EVERYONES.

I am in love with this.....

Dear Belly Fat,

2011-04-01T09:09:00.005-07:00

WTF?

Let's talk.

I consider myself pretty stubborn.

But I've come to find that YOU are even more so.

I have been hard core dieting for 4 weeks now.

And yes, I've lost some weight.

Don't look at me like that....

I am grateful.

Pleased.

Happy.

I've made a lot of progress.

But seriously.

Why are you hanging on so?

What the hell?

Protein Protein Protein, right?

Burns the belly fat, right?

If I consume anymore protein I am going to turn into a Rib Eye.

Yes, I'm balancing it with healthy fruits and vegetables, but come on!

So yesterday my Doctor says stress.

Stress is your BFF, apparently.

And I'm thinking "STRESS?".

I am virtually stress free right now.

Comparatively speaking, of course.

So what gives?

Let me mention too I am battling you valiantly with

consistent trips to the gym in the hopes of jiggling you right the hell off.

And while my calves are looking more shapely,

YOU are not leaving as quickly as I'd hoped.

So please. Have pity.

Help me out here.

On the rare occasion I may feel stressed.......

like my daughter is swimming in Florida against some super fast people,

or Connor being in the hands of my husband to get to and from a swim meet in California,

or my over-the-top happy go lucky son Garrin, unknowingly admits to his teacher

that I let him watch way too much TV while I Facebook....
(just kidding on THAT one, but you never know with that kid!)

whatever it may be,

whatever triggers a moment of stress....

Be kind.

Know you are not wanted around these parts any longer

and get lost.

Now.

I've got shorts I need to fit into dammit.

It's gonna be almost 100 today.

Thanks so much,

Your keeper for the last 18 or so months,

Gini

PS: Don't make me call Lipo Suction.......

it's a small world

2011-03-30T17:36:00.001-07:00

and no, I am not referring to the Disney ride,

which I love, by the way.

the ride

AND

Disney.

Either.

Land or World.

Doesn't matter which.

But that isn't what this post is about.
(and I do apologize, if at the mere mention of that attraction,
you are now humming that tune and will not be able to stop...)

It's a small SWIM world.

When Hannah headed off to Sectionals in Florida,

she was reunited with her old swim team, the Aquabears.

She also saw some kids she swam with in that particular LSC

(CT Swimming). Pretty cool, and just goes to show you the world gets

a little smaller when you travel across the country to swim in meets

and actually KNOW other kids!

Well, today Connor and Bill are headed to Far Westerns in California,

where Connor will see some of his old team mates from BCH in Nevada.

I guess in this world of swimming you just never know where you will meet up someday!

Here are my handsome guys, heading out.

I'll ~~try to~~ miss them!!!

And like I wrote on Connors Facebook -

He better swim fast or he is grounded.

Just kidding of course.

recap of the hike

2011-03-28T08:46:00.025-07:00

Bill and I hiked our mountain this weekend. The weather could not have been more perfect.

Sun shining, but not too hot, with a cool breeze blowing. It was fantastic.

I decided to up the intensity of the hike by strapping on my camera and two lenses,

in addition to the required large bottle of water.

Every time I head out to hike I think that THAT will be the hike I will take without

the camera......I have yet to go on THAT hike.....

Anyhoo. Here are a few pictures and to start it off, and keep the area in perspective,

that is Bill hiking in that first picture. He is dwarfed by all that is around him.

The temps are climbing fast. Going to hit upper 90's by the end of the week.

So it is a must that we take advantage of hiking here while we can.

Soon will come the time when we will have to DRIVE north to go hiking

during the upcoming months!

happy monday!

my first thought was.....

2011-03-26T07:03:00.002-07:00

how the hell do you get an F in art?

really. how hard is ART?

I got Hannah's report card in the mail yesterday and about flipped out.

Art.

Now let me see.

The first couple days into this class this last semester,

Hannah immediately hated it. Didn't like the teacher. Said she only liked

the creative kids.

So what do I do? Go out and buy Hannah all the required supplies for the class

INCLUDING

the $35 set of colored pencils. And as I paid for the outrageously priced "special"

colored effing pencils, I wanted to puke.........

But all in the hopes of making my not-super-creative kid (but one hell of a fast swimmer, dammit)

LOOK more creative in the eyes of her teacher, I got the stupid pencils.

Three days later I was signing a permission slip for Hannah to apply for a

T.A. position during art period.................

Which she did NOT get.

But she gave the class her all -

which apparently was nothing hence the

Until I asked her about it.

The report card reads

"many missing assignments".

Which honestly, I ride her like a pony,

about those, on days she is absent.

She says there are no missing assignments.

Thanks goodness Miss Smarty Pants kept all the

ALREADY GRADED

papers in her binder.

She'll be taking care of this Monday morning,

before I head down there.

Which is probably

good

thing.

random thoughts on a Friday

2011-03-25T11:35:00.001-07:00

Almost 5 days have gone by without blogging.

And I am really stretching to make time to take photos.

I can't really look back and say "holy shit! I've been busy."

Because I am not actually sure I'd call it busy. I don't know - just life I guess.

Life is Good, so that is a check mark in the right direction.

At least it hasn't been that life was sucking.....

Being as nothing eventful has occurred, I guess I'll just jot down some

random thoughts.

Hannah got back from Florida on Monday. I was happy to see her, of course.

But at the same time, I had let her go off on her own to take this next step in her swimming

"career" or however you'd like to label it. I did not make a big deal on her return.

Didn't get out the party horns, the balloons, throw confetti at her down at baggage claim.

I just hugged her and welcomed her home - and stepped back to look at my amazing

daughter who is growing up. I looked at a 13 year old girl who has the ability to

manage her life in a positive way - at times all on her own. She juggles school and swimming

with ease. She is able to have fun with school friends, swim friends, facebook friends, laugh,

giggle, be girly, control drama and at the snap of a finger become focused on the task at hand.

Whether it is algebra or an upcoming swim meet. I love knowing that Bill and I hand her

the necessary tools to be personally successful - and she uses them. That alone

has to be a powerful self esteem builder. A teen knowing they can succeed.

Having opportunities to prove to yourself that you can succeed. I love that.

So she is off from swimming for two weeks. She knows she will now not have another

break from swimming until this time next year. High school swimming will start for her in

August when most club swimmers will see another short break. She is a smart girl and has

taken advantage of the situation. Without me having to tell her, she knows that now is the

time to socialize with her school friends, after school, while she actually has the opportunity.

Now if she would only find the time to squeeze in cleaning her room, unpacking her suitcase,

(it's been 4 days......), FINDING HER DAMN RETAINER SO SHE CAN WEAR IT,....

well......all would be good, now, wouldn't it??

And Connor, still on the upswing here. Loving school. Seriously. He is so obsessed with

constantly checking his grades online. Focused on keeping himself where he wants to be

academically. It's nice to see - even when the grades don't change and he keeps calling

me to "come see" the computer...over.....and over......and over.......

Swimming? For him it continues. No break because he qualified to swim a Far Western meet

in California. And having Hannah coming off of going to Florida, we had to say yes to him

going to this meet, even with just three events. He too worked hard. Speaking of obsessed,

same for swimming. Has to look at the time standards all the time to calculate how far off

he is from certain cuts. This too drives me batty - but I must not complain.

I am not prepared to tell my kids what kind of kids Bill and I were at their ages......

So I silently THANK THE GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN that they are NOT following

in our footsteps......."Let us pray...."

Garrin my Garrin. I love this kid. Not much to say other than he makes every day

a better day for all of us. Truly he does. He loves us all unconditionally.

He holds no grudges toward Hannah or Connor. He stands up for himself to them,

but also loves to be part of what they do. He makes not passing judgement, an easy choice.

Whether I feel he lacks in some areas, he certainly excels in others, but

he has a way of making me feel and know that in the end, all kids are equal.

All kids read, all kids add and subtract, all kids have friends.

It's all good and I love watching him live his life in Garrin-fashion.

With a big giant smile on his face and his eyes squinted into little half-moons!

As for Bill and I - we are back on track baby. In a big way.

Marriage, once taken for granted, is now a pleasure to put effort in to. At one time

it was all so effortless but along came the derailment that was a huge slap in the face.

A smack of reality. No more taking for granted. So while it's taken a while.......

no really........A LONG WHILE......it has gotten back where it needs to be.

The biggest part of that being working on ourselves first. Again, another thing you take

for granted. Your own well being. We both worked and continue to work on that.

I call it the trickle down effect. If YOU are not good, you can not be a good partner, and

in turn can not be a good parent. Nobody is happy at that point. So you must start at the top.

So working on me meant quite a few things.

Returning to me. Who I was. What I stood for.

The inside part.

Then I started on the outside part.

Who I'd become.....not so good. Overweight. Unhealthy. Uncaring.

How could I claim to care for everyone else, when I really wasn't proving my ability

to do so, by not taking care of myself?

So my crusade to get healthy is going well. I have been on a ~~fucking~~ diet,

ok I am a little bitter about having to be on a diet,

but I got my fat ass to this point by OBVIOUSLY NOT being on a diet....

and have been making a valiant effort to work out. Let's just try to forget

about my sidelining knee injury when I was convincing myself I was going to be a runner.

But I'm back at the gym and taking advantage of the beautiful weather here

where I live - to get healthy. I am down 15 pounds. Go me! But I wouldn't be me

if I didn't throw in a little sarcasm in there and say - I have a lot more damn weight to go

before I am where I should be.

Now SHOULD and WANNA? Those may be two different numbers,

but as I get closer to that point - I'll have to negotiate that in some private conversation

with myself. But for now - all is good.

And while I do not know the internal conversations Bill has with himself,

on his own personal journey - I do see a change. His fat ass doesn't make his rear bike

tire go flat anymore............just kidding!! (He'd want me to kid...........I hope).

Feeling better and more positive about himself certainly transfers itself into his work.

Which is important. Because that is how we all survive around here.......

wink wink

But he is more confident in what he is doing and more sure of where he wants to take his

business. And for that I am happy.

Which in turn makes US happy.

Which in turn makes our kids happy.

Trickle down, remember..?

So this is the short story long about what has been in my head the past few days,

although at this point in time I am thinking I should have delivered the Readers Digest

Condensed Version, perhaps.

Oh Well
I am hoping maybe some of these random words resonate.
I don't believe for one minute that I am the only one in this world who has lived
by taking things for granted. I knew I needed to change that. Maybe you do too.
Maybe.

Happy Friday all!

besides being....

2011-03-21T13:46:00.001-07:00

.....a little bit more tan

......and a little bit more tired,

I think Hannah came home from Sectionals

a little bit taller

and a little bit more beautiful.

It was an amazing experience for her,

but it sure is good to have her home....

until she jets off on the next great venture!

Happy Sunday

2011-03-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

Yup. It's the close of the weekend.

Bill comes home tonight.

Hannah comes home tomorrow.

I am also thinking Happy Sun.Day because the clouds are rollin' in

here in the Valley of the Sun.....

I took a minute to become one with the sun

(even though I wasn't getting a tan......)

this morning, as I sat drinking coffee

~~'cause the damn bird woke me up early~~

in the living room.

The light was reflecting off my table and I thought it looked amazing.

Looking forward to having everyone back together by tomorrow night!!!

I had a....

2011-03-19T13:51:00.001-07:00

slight verbal altercation with Garrin's soccer coach this morning.

Seriously. He had it comin'.

Couple things.

Don't tell the kids to arrive at the soccer field on game day - 1/2 hour before the game

if you don't plan on getting your ass there until 5 minutes before the game.

On the day you DO get there "on time", don't talk and text on your cell phone and ignore

the kids that actually did show up to play, until 5 minutes before the game. You could

have just stayed home, come late, and NOT pissed me off watching you.

Don't ask Garrin "Is your Dad here." Be a man, and come over to me yourself,

and ask me. He is five and I don't bite. Unless you already knew that by that time, you'd ticked me

off big time. Don't say "defense", "offense", "pass the ball to your teammate", assuming

that 5 year olds already know what those things mean, since you havent' even broached

those subjects or concepts at practice. They have no idea what you are talking about.

Oh and speaking of practice, nice job

sending your equally unorganized assistant coach to fill in for you, and asking US if we

brought our goals......so you could borrow them, because apparently it's not on your list

of bring along items WHEN YOU VOLUNTEERED TO BE THE COACH.

And good job with the one liner email saying "I won't be at practice but the assistant will be and we

will be on the opposite field of whatever one we were on last week." Which pretty

much left all the parents, picking up chairs and gear to move all around the fields,

once someone from the league showed up to let us know we are usually on the wrong field

and pointed us in the direction of the correct one. And I won't even talk about the snack

schedule, or shall I say LACK OF. Perfect for you going on what you said was the word of

my husband, who was not present to defend himself, that WE were on for snacks this week.

Which was a lie. I was already getting up out of my chair to head toward you to

"discuss" the LACK OF COMMUNICATION about the snacks, when you muttered -

"Well your husband didn't have very nice things to say about me.........."

Really? Because I am pretty confident that he was only stating facts.

YOU ARE UNORGANIZED.

THE KIDS GET OUT ON THE FIELD AND ARE RUNNING AROUND IN SWARMS

BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO DIRECTION.

ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR KID SCORING GOALS.

Period.

Don't dog my husband when he is not there.

You brought out the bitch in me, buddy.

Truth hurts - hence your apology to me later......

We paid good money.

We have no problem entrusting our kids into the hand of a coach.

One who cares and commits.

One who volunteers his time for ALL kids present.

One who would have the best support system of parents who

care, if he actually got off his goddamn cell phone

and communicated with us.

I know I would help out what ever way needed,

and am pretty sure everyone else would too.

the things you'll find

2011-03-18T11:06:00.001-07:00

So, as I was getting stuff ready for Hannah while she was packing up to leave,

I got together her AND Connor's point and shoot cameras.

Because I am expecting her to take over 400 pictures, hence needing both..........

or so that must have been what I was thinking at the time....like a dumb ass.

Anyhoo.

I got both batteries all charged up and I popped out the cards in both

to see if there were photos to download. Which there were.

Here is a sampling of what my kids take pictures of.

For some reason, all kids are obsessed with taking pictures of themselves.

Making stupid faces. Sometimes with their tongues hanging out.....

Should I complain? No. Because they have their clothes ON, which is a blessing these days.

See ..... Connor does the same thing. Only with who the hell knows what in his mouth. And he looks

kinda "bloated" in that left shot. What was I feeding that kid back then, or was it that he was actually eating.....?

Ok....ok.....I joined in the fun a little.

But only for a minute. My clothes are on, and my tongue is IN my mouth.....

Here is Garrin's foot. I'm not sure why - and Connor whizzing by on his bike....kind of a cool shot actually. Not sure why the focus on his shirt though.

I don't even know what to say about the left shot........but Garrin here, I know, is practicing his karate...that he really doesn't know how to do other than from Spongebob.

Yup - Jewish Geriatric Services....we'd donated some books and magazines before we moved. Hannah felt it important to capture that one apparently. Oh and great. My dusty laptop screen....with our triptik when we moved....

Garrin's hand on the pavement...makes me wonder if that was shot before this one on the right....

Great idea, kids, pissing off Garrin, then take a picture of him while he is crying.....nice.

I guess you are not too young to copy your older siblings and take stupid face pictures. And I guess a stupid face is all it took for me to even see some resemblence between Hannah and Garrin.

Poor Lucy. Gotta get that camera way up close, hopefully with out a flash...The dead cat? Excellent! I put up the "better" - less graphic photos of the dead-ness......and blood........

Much to my delight,

I was surprised by this last photo.

Actually and awesome photo.

I love it.

And regardless of the subject choice in their photography,

I love THEM.

Dear Ryan Lochte

2011-03-17T11:33:00.001-07:00

or Peter Vanderkaay,

If you happen across my daughter Hannah, she'll be swimming the mile tonight,

oh,

and she looks a little like this.....

kind of....

could you tell her to either give me a call,

or text me later,

to let me know how she did?

Thanks so much -

her mom

PS - You guys rock! AND maybe a little photo with Hannah too,

would be nice!

they're off!

2011-03-16T16:18:00.001-07:00

presenting (part of) the Swim Neptune

2011 – Speedo Champions Series – Southern Zone – South Sectional Championship

team.

I think there are 10 kids total competing from Swim Neptune,

accompanied by their coach - Coach Mike in the back.

I know he will take good care of Hannah...and the rest of these kids.

Good luck to Hannah!

All my love and wishes for some really smokin', stinkin' F.A.S.T. swims!!!!!

I am not just CUTTING the apron strings...

2011-03-15T07:48:00.002-07:00

I am pretty much shearing them right off and throwing them away.

or so I feel.

I'd put off blogging about this "special event" for some time now,

figuring as the day approached my feelings would completely do a 180.

180 isn't quite the mark I've hit, not even close.

Hannah is heading off to Fort Lauderdale, Florida tomorrow,

returning Monday. She is heading there with about 10 kids from her

swim team, and a couple of coaches to swim in the Florida Sectionals meet.

Did I say she is going WITHOUT us?

yup

Her coach said this meet was a terrific meet for the kids to swim.

The sectional qualifying times are a little more "relaxed" than typical Seattle sectional

qualifying times. So he is able to take more kids. He likes giving them any opportunity

to swim some of these bigger, more competitive meets. Give them the experience.

Second good reason? - it's in Florida.......on the beach.

And third? - it's on the beach.

Did I mention it was on the beach?

Hannah is doubly excited (is that proper grammar?) because the Aquabears

are also going to this meet. So she gets to see her old coach - not old in the sense of age

because then I'd be pretty much calling myself old........AND some of her friends from that

team. I've not seen her this happy or this excited about something.

So she has worked extremely hard for this. Any questions or hesitation I had about

this team and this coach.....let's just say. I have nothing to be worried about.

She is in good hands for years to come. Her progress so far has been outstanding.

Thus getting her to this meet.

So the decision to send your kid off on their first huge meet alone,

basically becomes a financial one. We sent her off once before to swim Eastern Zones,

but knew upon doing so that that meet was more for fun. Her coach did not attend,

and there was no pressure to perform. We chalk it up to $800 worth of making some

great, long-lasting friend connections. This meet will well exceed that amount, especially

when we were considering either having Bill or me go with her - that figure doubled.

We had a long talk with Hannah and discussed all the facts. She understands that now that

she is in a position to qualify for these big travel meets, she will have to plan to travel alone

with the team. This will ensure her the ability to go to many. Bill and I will sacrifice whatever

we have to, to make this happen for her whenever the opportunity presents itself.

And she is good with this. Thank God.

Ryan Lochte is supposed to be swimming at this meet. And who knows what other

Olympic swimmers may be there. The only thing I asked of Hannah is to make sure

she at least get a picture or two of her with one of them.

I've gone from being completely 100 percent excited for her, to a little nervous and scared,

though I won't tell her that. She will be expected to perform at this meet. She has trained for this.

She's going to be great. I have a feeling. But I still have a lump in my throat....

This is a huge step for Hannah.

And for us.

here already?

2011-03-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

So it is March 14th. It's already been 85 or a tad higher in temperature the last 5 days or so,

and it's shaping up to look like spring is here. Now granted, those would be summer temperatures,

some places......and seeing as this is my first spring in Arizona -(word is....it is way hotter here than Vegas),

not sure what the average is supposed to be. But coming off of a VERY full weekend at a swim meet,

and straight on into Spring Break, the boys decided today would be a good day to go in our pool.

(because Connor didn't get enough POOL all weekend.............)

It.was.cold......I assume.

yet again, another reason why I think my kids are nuts.

oh, I guess this is why I don't go nuts....

my 365

2011-03-11T14:12:00.001-07:00

the photos being posted now on my 365 are from parts of Arizona that

are from places we don't see everyday.

i loved "finding" these shots and really love playing around with them on photoshop.

my newest love is "give it texture" from

The CoffeeShop Blog

which I've blogged about before.

i combine that action with free textures from this amazing site called

BittBox.

try them both out.

it's fun.

a milestone

2011-03-09T21:03:00.001-07:00

yesterday was monumental for me.

i realized that i am at peace with something that

i was struggling with.

i found myself in a place that had brought me a lot of negativity,

but no longer am feeling that way.

a place i felt resentment.

a place i felt uneasiness.

it is gone.

and now this place can be somewhere that will bring me happiness.

i love free therapy, i tell you.

because that is what got me though this.

working on myself.

not someone else working on me.

but me working on me.

and it has paid off big time.

sometimes you need to just take time for YOU.

Sometimes I forget

2011-03-07T20:41:00.001-07:00

we live in the southwest. Desert? Yes. But we are NOT in Vegas, baby.

Parts of this area can be Western Country, for sure.

The road I drive to the pool a hundred times a day, should have been a sure fire sign.

There is horse ranch after horse ranch after horse ranch - all down this road.

It's pretty cool.

So the birthday party Garrin went to this weekend was at a place called

McDonalds Ranch

It was not the playground at the Golden Arches by any means.

Bill gets full photo credit on the following.

There is so much to do at this place. Not only do they host birthday parties,

but they have a petting zoo, offer trail rides, some at sunset even!!

Garrin refused to get up on the horse for a ride,

but Bill and I are totally going back for one of those trail rides for sure.

The one and only time I rode a horse, I was probably about 8.

by the way - the photoshop technique I used was of all things -

Pioneer Woman's action - called Old West

How appropriate!