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Wednesday, December 7

Good god it's been forever

But here I sit.
My busy world has crashed.
Garrin puked at school today, thankfully while I was helping out.
So the 4000 things I have on my to-do list,
have taken a back seat to caring for my kid.

As I write that I get this weird feeling knowing that my kids are ALL at the ages
now where they pretty much take care of themselves.
Short of the usual crap I do around here to keep the train rolling -
laundry, cooking, cleaning etc
they do what they do.
Until they get sick, that is.

Which I guess leaves me more time to pile things onto my lists.

I don't even know the last time I blogged.
Certainly not for lack of "material".
But all in all, for a lack in time.

My mind is full though.

Last month was the month for thanks.
And as I look back and remember the things I was thankful for
most were good.
Thankful for Bill and the kids.
Great NEW friends.
The unconditional love of OLD friends.
The opportunity to stand by my husband, as he pursues his dream
with his business and watching it grow.
Good health (knock on wood....lemme find some...
hold on.....that's a doozey for me!)
The list goes on...the list of great things in my life.

I have a very bad habit of letting the shit part of my life creep forward
and cloud my thinking.  Overtake the happiness I feel,
and invade my gratitude, turning it to resentment and sadness.
And for this - my heart aches.

So I turn that around by once again, seeing what I do have,
and trying to let go of what I do not.
Life is not perfect.

But hey.
Moving to Arizona sometimes makes me realize I have been given a chance
to make my life as perfect as perfect gets.  And knowing that Bill and I both
have worked so hard to afford our kids the same - makes the heartache lessen,
and makes life worth living!  And thankful that my kids are thriving here.

We all experienced somewhat of a "Life Interrupted" but as we celebrate our
one year anniversary here,
back in the desert where we belong
I know in my heart that
I need to move forward and not look back.

So as December rolls on, I am hoping to get back on here.
Get stuff off my chest.
Make some room for the good stuff.

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