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Thursday, October 20

some things I hate about doing laundry


Saying each and every time I am sorting the laundry,
"This is the last time I am going to turn Hannah's things the right way.
Next time she is washing them."
And never follow through on that.

Washing clothes Hannah hasn't even put on her body,
just because she flung them in her hamper along with her actual dirty items
and I guess, now THEY are dirty.
And cursing about that do -
and not ever doing anything about it.

Getting a practically empty hamper from Connor,
who swears up and down that he has collected EVERYTHING
from his bedroom and bathroom,
and then going in there and all but tripping on dirty clothes,
that in fact are NOT the same color of the carpet, so
I am pretty positive they don't blend in and he can't see them.
Just sayin'.

Sorting out the clothes from Connor and saying to myself,
Damn, this kid needs new underwear.
And then never remembering that until the next
time I am sorting through his laundry,
and I recall this endless-loop conversation I have with myself.

Finding a scorpion under the heap of wet towels in the hallway.

Noticing the fact that apparently Hannah and her friends spend
evenings at a time, creating "Flashdance" shirts out of all her old t-shirts
 because not only do all the over-extended "boat neck" t-shirts need to be washed,
but so do all 264 itty bitty pieces of the t-shirts do too,
because they've wound up in the hamper as well.

No matter how often I buy Connor socks,
(while I am there and not buying underwear? I have no clue)
there are still two or three pairs of socks that are so stiff and nasty
from OBVIOUSLY wearing them more than once,
that OF COURSE need to be turned right side in...
which is just plain nasty.

Finding dirty clothes up on the top shelves of closets,
or in the hanging light fixtures,
or in the pockets of the pool table,
because either of my two boys decided
they are going to chuck their clothes when they take them
off, regardless of where they land.

And lastly -
Wondering if in fact, I am currently washing whatever item of clothing
Bill is going to ask if I washed, the next morning,
because more often than not, he is "needing" the item he'd worn
only a couple of days ago, even though I hit the laundry once a week. Twice
if we are all lucky.
I say - try wearing what is clean.  Sorry the three pairs of black underwear are dirty,
but you have 18 pairs of "other" ones you can pick from.......

For me this makes,
the inevitable "missing sock" phenomenon
meaningless
here in our house.

And, in all fairness, I am sure that the lack of time I have
to get clothes folded and put away,
bugs the crap outta everyone when they have to rifle
through baskets of clean clothes.

K.  Off to throw the next load in.

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