Monday, October 31

October 31, 2011

"Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen.
Voices whisper in the trees, 'Tonight is Halloween!'"
Dexter Kozen

Friday, October 28

how true, how true...

"Human happiness has always its abatements; the brightest sunshine of success
is not without a cloud."  Samuel Johnson

I don't know about you,
but I friggen hate 
I hate the life cannot be perfect.
I hate that shit happens.
I hate that I don't have answers to questions.
I hate that I sometimes hate.
not people.
I hate that I tell my kids not to use the word "hate" because
it is so intense, but it is exactly how I feel about stuff sometimes.

But I love that hate only lasts for a short time for me.
I love that driving though storms, in the literal sense, can totally
put things in your life in perspective.
When you see that yes, indeed -
The brightest sunshine of success is not without a cloud.
You have no choice but to stop and take notice.
Like I did after this last storm.
(Besides the fact that there also was a rainbow
and that in and of itself is pretty inspirational!)

Don't we all struggle at times?

My life is certainly not perfect,
and admitting that a good reality check kinda kick in the ass
is needed sometimes, is just what the doctor ordered.

If I was actually seeing a doctor.....

Thursday, October 27


People actually eat lunch at this table?
They do.
After these dirty pigeons hang out
here periodically throughout the day.

I see this when I go into the office
and having been wanting to take a picture of this filth.
'Cause I can't just take pretty pictures of my kids all the time...


Friday, October 21

When things look bright...

sometimes it takes me a while to notice.
Sometimes, even for a split second, I can get caught up
in the poor-me's....
for a second I say.
More often than not though,
things always turn around,
or something wonderful happens unexpectedly,
or I put things in perspective,

And I really understand that I am in control of
how bright my future,
Bill's future and my kids future really looks.

Funny thing - I was having a poor-me second, when I shot these photos.
I uploaded them and thought they looked almost like a painting.
It made me smile.
And it made me stop feeling so ridiculous.

And with that.
Good Friday.
And Good Weekend to All.

Thursday, October 20

some things I hate about doing laundry

Saying each and every time I am sorting the laundry,
"This is the last time I am going to turn Hannah's things the right way.
Next time she is washing them."
And never follow through on that.

Washing clothes Hannah hasn't even put on her body,
just because she flung them in her hamper along with her actual dirty items
and I guess, now THEY are dirty.
And cursing about that do -
and not ever doing anything about it.

Getting a practically empty hamper from Connor,
who swears up and down that he has collected EVERYTHING
from his bedroom and bathroom,
and then going in there and all but tripping on dirty clothes,
that in fact are NOT the same color of the carpet, so
I am pretty positive they don't blend in and he can't see them.
Just sayin'.

Sorting out the clothes from Connor and saying to myself,
Damn, this kid needs new underwear.
And then never remembering that until the next
time I am sorting through his laundry,
and I recall this endless-loop conversation I have with myself.

Finding a scorpion under the heap of wet towels in the hallway.

Noticing the fact that apparently Hannah and her friends spend
evenings at a time, creating "Flashdance" shirts out of all her old t-shirts
 because not only do all the over-extended "boat neck" t-shirts need to be washed,
but so do all 264 itty bitty pieces of the t-shirts do too,
because they've wound up in the hamper as well.

No matter how often I buy Connor socks,
(while I am there and not buying underwear? I have no clue)
there are still two or three pairs of socks that are so stiff and nasty
from OBVIOUSLY wearing them more than once,
that OF COURSE need to be turned right side in...
which is just plain nasty.

Finding dirty clothes up on the top shelves of closets,
or in the hanging light fixtures,
or in the pockets of the pool table,
because either of my two boys decided
they are going to chuck their clothes when they take them
off, regardless of where they land.

And lastly -
Wondering if in fact, I am currently washing whatever item of clothing
Bill is going to ask if I washed, the next morning,
because more often than not, he is "needing" the item he'd worn
only a couple of days ago, even though I hit the laundry once a week. Twice
if we are all lucky.
I say - try wearing what is clean.  Sorry the three pairs of black underwear are dirty,
but you have 18 pairs of "other" ones you can pick from.......

For me this makes,
the inevitable "missing sock" phenomenon
here in our house.

And, in all fairness, I am sure that the lack of time I have
to get clothes folded and put away,
bugs the crap outta everyone when they have to rifle
through baskets of clean clothes.

K.  Off to throw the next load in.

Monday, October 17

Getting my "Mommy" on

The kids are just coming off of school break.
I asked them all at the beginning of break if they had any homework.
Hannah had a video project to work on.
So she got on it last Saturday.  2 of the 3 other girls who were part
of the project, came over the house.  They were all kinda pissed off that the
fourth girl was off doing something else, instead of working on the video.
But they worked their tusshies off ALL DAY on Saturday.
And had a great time doing so.
I'd asked how the missing girl was going to be included,
since she wasn't part of the actual video,
and they figured she could edit it and that would be her contribution.

So fast forward to last night.
Bill, Hannah and I were in the car driving home from dinner,
when Hannah gets a text from one of the girls who was part of the
hard work the week prior.  The missing girl was pissed that she wasn't part
of the project, didn't want part of the "editing", and it was "decided" that they had to re-do it.
Two fucking days before it's due.
(That would be me talking, am I am sure what my daughter was
(which is fine, she can curse all she wants in her head.....)

So I calmly ask Hannah how that is even gonna happen.
It was 7:30 - and realistically there was still time then.
She said they couldn't and it would have to be Monday.

Which for Hannah is completely impossible since her commitment
AND to boot, a HUGE invitational is Tuesday,
and she MUST be at practice.  She CANNOT skip it.
Which is what the "texting" girl DID NOT GET,
even though, she too, is a swimmer.

So the last text pretty much said that they (the OTHER three)
were going to re-do the project without Hannah and that Hannah's
grade would suffer.

I'm sorry,
Not gonna happen.
Which is just about when I FLIPPED MY LID.

Hannah and I proceeded to scream at each other,
out of sheer frustration.
I want to help her through this-
but totally know that it cannot be about "mommy running to the rescue".
Hannah needs to stand up for herself here.
But my protective maternal instincts were on FIRE!
I was ready to drive down to the girls house to "discuss" this
in person.  But today's way is the technological way -
through TEXTING.
Which I think is complete bullshit.
You cannot get your point across unless you confront the situation

So it will be interesting seeing how today plays out at school.
She is feeling less pissed off, and a little more in control this morning,
just as I feel.
(admittedly as I write this my blood pressure is rising.....)

Lesson to my teenage daughter is -
friends can turn on you in an INSTANT.
Let 'em.
Just don't put up with any crap.
Stand up for yourself and for what is right.

The End.

Saturday, October 15

It doesn't already suck that

you have to, more often than not,
pay to use one of those air thingies at the gas station -
Sometimes - 25 cents,
even, 75 cents like this one...
but now you can pay with a credit card???  really?
for air?

Thursday, October 13

My baby who isn't a baby anymore

You seriously could NOT ask for a better kid to have when you are 40.
He has brought happiness during the years of parenthood
when you are absolutely pulling your hair out because you
are dealing with pre-teen and teen "stuff".
He makes me BALANCED.
And I love that and I love him.
I'd guarantee if I asked Bill - he'd agree wholeheartedly!

So today is Garrin's Day.
Happy Sixth Birthday Bud.
Lots of love xoxoxo
And here is a snippet from his birthday party
we had on Tuesday.

It was at the McCormick Stillman Railroad Park.
Click here to check it out.
So happy to have found this place, in the heart of Scottsdale,
somewhere where you'd least expect it!

Tuesday, October 11


there are really
no words

Drink this all up...
she's all mine.

Friday, October 7

Fall is here, part deux

Nothin' brings on a headache,
or a queasy stomach,
better than watching your kid go back and forth on his bike
about a hundred times.

But Garrin was dang cute doing it.

He was a bit apprehensive getting back on.  He did not ride for most
of the summer, partly because his tires would have melted into the asphalt,
being that is was about 115 degrees the last 6 or 8 months.....
ok, maybe 3 or 4 tops,
but it was too freaking hot to ride a bike,
is what the point is here.

Anyway - the next couple times he will be going at full speed
right along side Connor, I am sure!

Another great day here, weather wise. 
Just LOVING it!

Thursday, October 6

Herbst means "autumn"

No.  Really.  It does.  In German.
The waitstaff at the German restaurant at Epcot
in Florida asks us if we know that, every time we go there......

Pretty cool.
Let's celebrate the fact that
Herbst is fricken finally here in Arizona!!

Happy Fall
means back to playing outside for the kiddos.
This installment is dedicated to Connor.
Garrin is on for tomorrow!
Hannah - well.....she doesn't play outside anymore......

I was totally taking my life in my hands taking these shots,
as Connor was enjoying taking his shots....

Tuesday, October 4

and a good morning it is

While admittedly I told myself last night when I went to bed
that I would hit the gym this morning AFTER dropping Hannah
at the pool at 4:45 a.m. this morning, and completely talked myself
out of it, without much hesitation, about 2 seconds into getting up -
I still was able to find joy in the wee hours today.

Now I know, not much can match the joy I feel, when going to the gym....
well, possibly, the joy I feel when having a cavity drilled,
or trying to squeeze my fat ass into some of my most favorite jeans,....
THAT is joy, I tell ya...

maybe I should re-visit the idea of the gym at 4:45... or just
continue to go at 9:00 which is way more realistic for me....


this morning,
back on point.

How does that grab you?

Now not much in the sense of good for the body kinda morning,
but certainly a good for the mind and soul kinda morning.

Monday, October 3

when you just get that feeling....

that it's gonna be a good day.
Something good is gonna happen.
That you are in a good place.

Well that is how yesterday was.
We ended up picking Hannah up from practice and
going directly to the Cardinals/Giants game.

Once she got in the car,
there was this feeling in air.
Kind of indescribable.
But I whispered to Bill if he felt it.
The feeling that we were, all five of us,
in the car, actually going
to do something.
We were not in "drop-off" mode,
which typically we are certainly not all in the
car at the same time.  But running in fifteen
different directions all at once, separately.

It was really wonderful
to listen to the three kids argue all the way there.

So once we got close to the stadium,
we got more and more excited to see the Giants.
Then this guy pulled out in front of us.
I took it as a sign.

That we were going to see a great game.
Which we did.

All 5 of us!

Saturday, October 1

It was about time

I actually got over being pissed off and/or sarcastic
about my teenage daughter.

We had a tough week on and off.

But this morning was the second day in a row she got up at 3:50 a.m.
Yesterday - to go to morning practice.
Today - to head to an Invitational meet for High School, down in Tucson.
I've GOT TO cut her some slack sometimes.

Ahh.  Such is the roller-coaster ride called
Parenting A Teen.
Wouldn't trade it for anything just the same.
Makes me stronger, but best of all,
it makes her stronger.
and hopefully NOT the bitch I am.

So she is off with her team.
While it is still dark out,
and the sun hasn't even come up over the mountains yet.

This meet is very important for her.
I hope she makes it all she wants it to be.

Good Luck Hannah!