Wednesday, August 10

where is the love people??

It is right here baby.
Having three kids, I get to experience love three different ways.

While most wouldn't characterize the love from Hannah as actual love,
I don't have a choice but to do so.
Otherwise I'd have to sell her or something.
Other, more familiar words that pop into my head are
and my brain is lacking here, but is there a word for
"just the mere fact that I exist and unfortunately by God's doing I am,
and always will be her mother" attitude?
Because really,  sometimes I ponder all the day long,
what the hell was it that I did to set her off.
But love it is.  It is just what teenage years boil down to at this point.
And I am truly grateful I have the opportunity to battle with her on
a daily basis.  Thank you Lord.

Then there is Connor.
So much less drama.
Thus the kind of love shown by Hannah, is not present between Connor
and I.  Connor has "unspoken love" for me.
You know.  The kind that is apparent when, are around his friends.
School.  Swim.  The grocery store run-in.  It doesn't matter.
It's that "loving" look he gives me all the while thinking -
"Hey.  I love you Mom.  But right now I am going to pretend you
are not right next to me."
I love unspoken love.  It is understood.
It is kind. 
Not real disrespectful in the "bite your head off, I'm never gonna
forget this, kinda, Hannah way".
It is also knowing.  I know how it is.
Here is a prime example:  I know in my heart that Connor would love
for me to cart his ass to school every day AND then pick him up
after.  Not gonna.  The rule here is - he rides his bike.
I am comfortable in knowing that he is not going to stew about it all
friggen day.  He gets on his dang bike, and goes off  to school.
no drama
Love that.  And love him.

Then at the extreme opposite of the spectrum there is Garrin
and his flat-out most awesome-est five year old,
last child,
happy child,
love that he has for his mom.
I could rip the wii controller right out of his perfect little hands,
and he is smooching me and hugging me within 5 minutes.
While I understand it may be his short attention span, that affords me
the luxury of such love, I am going to eat it up as much as I possibly
can.  I hope it never stops.
OK I take that back.  I hope when this type of love
can be translated into
"Momma's boy" kinda love -
I stop it dead in it's tracks.
We'll have none of that around here.

And with that,
I've gotta run.
Time to walk hand in hand with my boy
to Kindergarten.

Have a Loving Wednesday!