Thursday, April 28

my second, very unofficial and very amateurish

photo shoot.

Or as I like to call it.....
driving the car up to the top of my street into the desert,
with a bunch of rings, tiara's, various footwear, bubbles,
a pair of goggles, a rickety old chair,

and my Canon.

Oh and yes - the director/stylist of the photo shoot -
my friend Leslie.

These girls are ridiculously gorgeous.
Keep in mind after viewing these 7 of over 300 shots,
that we have since locked them up and have thrown away the keys....

Wednesday, April 27


what's up?

It's been what?  2 weeks since my last blog post?
Certainly not for the lack of material to write about.
Just busy-ness and I've been super tired lately.

So let's back the truck up....
and start with this whole diet thing.
Been on this kind of high protein - low (practically NO) carb diet for
about 7 or 8 weeks.
Bill says it's kinda like The Paleo Diet which is basically,
if you can pick it you can eat it - type of diet.
So I've lost a fair amount of weight
and of course Bill has lost practically a whole person........
I am pretty happy with the weight loss, but the downfall
to eating lots of protein and no carbs is
So blogging has taken a back seat to naps.
Kidding.....kind of.
I am definitely needing a nap every now and again,
but at night when I typically write a blog post -
dead tired.
Not complaining here.
Just stating the facts.
We all know diets SUCK BIG TIME,
but my ass is thanking me right about now.

Which now brings me to the gym.
Which too, is cutting into possible blogging time. How?
Well.  My mornings consist of
getting the kids ready and off to school,
I hit the gym for an hour or so,
head home,
have a protein shake or some breakfast,
take a shower,
dress, makeup and hair.
Then it's about lunch time.
I gotta tell ya' -
"ME time" takes up a lot of time.
And I fricken hate that.  The sense of wasting time.
Which is why I have not become one with the gym yet......
Sometimes I dread going,
but by the time I'm outta there - I am feeling so glad for going.
And working hard.
Again - my ass is thanking me......

So the lack of blogging has not been

1.  because my kids aren't beautiful, or amazing, or smart, or funny, or
just plain "Garrin"
(which I think should become an adjective - to describe the happiest thing on the planet.
"Going on rollercoasters makes me feel so Garrin.....")

2.  or because I haven't had the opportunity to take some great photos -
because I have taken a few....which will be a future blog post.

3.  or because I haven't gotten pissed off about something or someone that I just
wanted to spout off about in writing.

4.  or because I haven't had fun with friends or dates with Bill to write about.

5.  or because I don't have anything cool that I am looking forward to.

6.  or because I am not reading the most awesome-est book ever right now
to share with everyone.


well - you get me.

So I am saying this right here, right now.
I'm gonna eat more carbs.
Well, yes I am introducing some carbs back in.
So hopefully
I will wake the f*ck up
and start writing more consistently.

I've missed my blog.

Sunday, April 10

yes, yes...

Dinner last night was so good.  And the company even better!

We had a chance to go some place we'd been wanting to go.

And our evening went a little like this.
Started off with 2 orders each of Soft Shell Crab Roll and Hamachi Serrano Chili Roll.
The Hamachi was to die for for sure.

But wait.

We then slowly slid down a fantastic raw oyster, that was heaven in a little salty shell.

But wait.

We then had 2 orders of assorted sushi of which we insisted it included some
yummy yellowtail.

But wait.

That heaven in a little salty shell?  Yeah.  Had another.  Like a palate cleanser almost.

But wait.

We then had the most moist, perfectly prepared lamb chop and some grilled corn and
zucchini to blow your mind.

But wait.

We capped all that with a double espresso.

But the best part of the whole night?

You JUST WAIT.....

Check this out:


(yes i took my camera out of my purse and took a picture of the potty.)

Saturday, April 9

the saying goes

love conquers all
more people should realize that
more people should live that

Friday, April 8


Let me start out by saying Garrin has a student teacher in his classroom now,
in addition to his teacher and the aide.


Everyday the kids have an opportunity to earn a clock.
A green clock - for following all the rules.
A blue clock - for breaking a rule/rules.
If you go to red?  Well, no stinking clock for you.  You are just in big trouble...

So the past few days Garrin has been making it his priority to come home
with as many blue clocks as possible.  I don't know if it's own personal test
to see how many he can accumulate in one week or what, but he is on a roll.

So Bill spoke to the teacher's aide Wednesday and she explained that the new
student teacher, who is sweet, fun and YOUNG, has been passing those blue clocks out
as fast as the Henderson Police Department was handing me speeding tickets
sometime back........


So Garrin comes out of the classroom yesterday when I picked him up.  I could see
the new blue clock in his hand and he was tearing up a little.
Yes, my heart sank at the same time that I was getting pissed that he'd misbehaved..again.
Wierd feeling.

So we starting walking home and he proceeded to hand me the big yellow super-star he'd
gotten for standing in line quietly, and tried to hide the blue clock from me.
When I asked about it, he really had difficulty explaining what had happened.
Typical for a five year old and I wasn't going to push the point too far.
But I did tell him that there would be consequences for getting yet another BLUE.

After five minutes of explaining exactly what "consequences" meant, I told him what the
consequence would be.  It went a little something like this:

Me:  "Well, Garrin.  I am going to have to take away your television."
Garrin:  "Why?"
Me:  "Because that is your punishment."
Garrin:  "What is punishment?"
Me:  "Well a punishment is what your consequence is.  I have to take away
something that you really like."
Garrin:  "Oh good.  Finally."
Me:  "What?  What do you mean?"
Garrin:  "It's ok Mommy.  I don't really like my TV so it's ok that you take it away."
Me:  "Really?  Are you serious?"
Garrin:  "I am not kidding Mommy.  I don't want the TV in my room anyway.
And now Connor won't come in and watch it in my room."

So now what do I do?
I have a feeling that my 5 year old would take this route with ANYthing I tried to ground him

Thursday, April 7

In response to

my newly confirmed citizenship status as a Canadian on

Damn straight folks.
I am a Canadian citizen.
So let's travel in the time capsule back to the beginning of
the dysfunctional

Stories be told,
and 8mm films the proof,
my strict Roman Catholic and let's add Italian on top of that to give you the
full effect of the impact of what when down, mother, of a proud immigrant family
right off the boat
ran off with my questionable father to Canada?
Why?  Because she was pregnant with me....
and was escaping from the life she'd been living with my grandparents
to be the rebel in the family.
I guess as some point in time we all get our "rebel" on when it comes to our parents.
I did it....
They say "Do this and do it this way" and You say "I don't think so.  Watch this...."

So back in the day, I guess crossing the border was no biggie.
I know they headed up through Maine,
and landed in Ontario.
Low and behold, in June of 1965, I popped out.
It is said that the rescue occurred shortly thereafter.

I laugh every time I think about it or have to reiterate this story.
But that, in all essence, is what went down.
My grandmother, grandfather, my mother's aunt and uncle, all drove to
my birthplace,
first off - to see how adorable I was of course.
But to bring everyone home,
to the United States...
I mean....somebody had to teach me how to curse in Sicilian..come on!

So I literally think I was a resident of the fine country of Canada for only a few short months,
if that.

Fast forward to 1983ish.  I think.
My mother had had a car accident and was paralyzed from the waist down.
My parents marriage was in turmoil.
And I remember going into the basement - where my mother couldn't go at that
point in time.  I think my sister was with me.
I started rifling through a case full of papers.
And I'll be damned I found out a whole lotta stuff about our family that day.

Let's start with the fact that my parents marriage certificate had the date of May 1966.
Hello?  Born in '65 ova' here!!!  I was a bastard child!!  Interesting, but whatever.
That's pretty much common practice these days, huh?
But as I read that I was thinking back to 1965 and what that meant to a
Roman Catholic Eye-Talian family back then.  Holy crap.
Which led to interesting-item-number-2.
The reason my parents were not married was.....
My father was already married!!
I had two half-brothers.
He'd left the wife and his two sons to run off with my mother.

So the whole citizenship status was never in the forefront of my mind.
There was no necessity to investigate it.
Only thing that made that come into play was years and years ago,
when Bill and I had traveled to an island somewhere.
We were coming back home and when I'd gone through immigration at the airport,
I got hassled.  I call it hassled, they called it doing their job.
Which is indeed what it was.  I was just nervous and scared that I wasn't going
to be let back into the US.  So I grabbed onto my first line of defense and became a
bitch to the officer.  Until Bill intervened and shut me up.
Long story short I got back in,
and just carried on with my life.

Well it's 2011 and I wanted to get passports for all of us.
Heck...with my 13 year old capable of traveling by herself - it sure sounds like
a good idea.  PLUS I made a bucket list and on that list was to once and for all
found out what my status is.

And it is that ....
I have no status here.

So at this point in my 45 years here,
it's a good gosh darned thing that I married a US Citizen.
He will now have to petition for me.
Which takes up to 3 years for the whole process.
Sounds a little like the movie The Proposal....sorta
So I am feeling a little bit more confident about actually becoming legal.

This would have all be prevented if my mother had filed papers for me
after she'd brought me back into this country.
I am thinking she had a lot on her plate back then.


Monday, April 4

Go here,

and buy this:

What is this?  The Holstee Manifesto.
Where is here?
"Kickass products, sustainably made, with a social impact"

The above is their company's philosophy.

It should be EVERYONES.
I am in love with this.....

Friday, April 1

Dear Belly Fat,


Let's talk.
I consider myself pretty stubborn.
But I've come to find that YOU are even more so.

I have been hard core dieting for 4 weeks now.
And yes, I've lost some weight.
Don't look at me like that....

I am grateful.
I've made a lot of progress.

But seriously.
Why are you hanging on so?
What the hell?

Protein Protein Protein, right?
Burns the belly fat, right?
If I consume anymore protein I am going to turn into a Rib Eye.
Yes, I'm balancing it with healthy fruits and vegetables, but come on!

So yesterday my Doctor says stress.
Stress is your BFF, apparently.
And I'm thinking "STRESS?".

I am virtually stress free right now.
Comparatively speaking, of course.

So what gives?

Let me mention too I am battling you valiantly with
consistent trips to the gym in the hopes of jiggling you right the hell off.
And while my calves are looking more shapely,
YOU are not leaving as quickly as I'd hoped.

So please.  Have pity.
Help me out here. 
On the rare occasion I may feel stressed.......
like my daughter is swimming in Florida against some super fast people,
or Connor being in the hands of my husband to get to and from a swim meet in California,
or my over-the-top happy go lucky son Garrin, unknowingly admits to his teacher
that I let him watch way too much TV while I Facebook....
(just kidding on THAT one, but you never know with that kid!)

whatever it may be,
whatever triggers a moment of stress....
Be kind.

Know you are not wanted around these parts any longer
and get lost.

I've got shorts I need to fit into dammit.
It's gonna be almost 100 today.

Thanks so much,
Your keeper for the last 18 or so months,

PS:  Don't make me call Lipo Suction.......