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Sunday, September 12

Realizations

Well for one, I've realized I haven't taken a photo in forever.
Just got my new generic batteries and a new generic charger,
so hopefully this week I can find some inspiration to take some pictures.
We'll see.

I've realized that I have been really backing off Facebook.
It's kind of weird for me. But good for sure.
I have been doing a LOT of reading lately. I just finished...
drum roll.....you know....'cause everyone else read this book
like 8 years ago when Oprah pronounced this her book club
of the month selection - way back when she did that.....oh,
and way back when when I actually watched her show to see
her do that............She's Come Undone. Wally Lamb.
Yup. Just read it. It was fantastic. I am now reading and
just about finished with The Dogs of Babel. Another fairly oldie
but goodie. So how this all ties into what's been running through
my mind lately - the whole hoarding thing....I've got a lot of books.
I love walking into Barnes and Noble and scouring the bargain books,
for just that. Bargain books. I could spend hours in there. So I get
all these books and put them into my bookcases. I love that. I love
arranging them. I love how they look. I love that it looks like I read
a lot. When in fact I don't really. Anyhoo. Just finished a book,
where a character in the story - felt exactly this same way. It was
kind of comforting knowing I am not necessarily hoarding books,
but collecting them. I think there is a big difference there. Which
that thought brings me to my latest obsession with reading.

I have also realized this past weekend that I have really great friends.
Really smart, considerate, supportive friends. And I am so lucky.
One friend in particular, I got a chance to spend some time with on
Friday night. She is in fact my oldest friend.....in the sense, I have known
her the longest. We have been intertwined within each others lives for at
least the last 35 years. That's a long time. She knows me inside and out.
I know I can tell her anything and regardless of what it is, she still loves
me. And she still supports me. And for that I am grateful. I can only
hope that I, too, am a good friend to others.

I realized also that since I have moved back here to the east coast, I have
gained 16 pounds. That totals up to 2 pounds for every month here. What.
The. Hell................?
"What the hell" is that I am not taking care of myself. But that is changing, as I've
written in the last few posts. And while I am sick of being on this particular
wagon again......well. So be it. It is what it is. Tell me who isn't at some point in
time, trying to get (back) to a better place? So here we go.....

I've also realized that when I left Nevada and moved here I came with so
much stuff...........do we remember the size of the tractor trailer???? Well,
I need a dumpster. I need a dumpster to get rid of a lot of shit that I brought
here, just for the sake of holding on to a part of my life from there. Make sense?
I brought a lot of things that symbolized the kind of life I lived there, here. Now
as I look at all these things, and I realized how much my life has changed, how much
I, too, have changed. As much as I loved my life there, these "things" do not make
me love my life here. I am not that same person really. What I have also realized
though, is that I am also not the same person I was when I lived here originally.
I've evolved. I've grown up. I've become Me. I've begun to start "getting" this
all. It's a lot, man. But I am getting it.

I am finally realizing....

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