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Wednesday, September 15

50 percent

or 50 pa-cent, like Garrin says.

Anyway. That's what my physical therapist
told me today at my 4 week re-evaluation.
50 percent better.

I don't like 50 percent. Unless it is pertaining to shopping
and is followed by the word "off......."
Or perhaps pertaining to caloric intake and followed by the
word "less....."
Or even the size of my butt, followed by the words "smaller
than it used to be....."

Back to the therapist...physical, that is.

So this news pretty much sucks for me but
I kinda knew it was coming. While the pain I am still
feeling as a result of my accident isn't prohibiting me from
doing some of what I need to get done on a daily basis, it is
there and it is constant, albeit the few hours that Aleve does
its magic and helps me feel normal for a while.
This all really just boils down to being a pain in the ass, or back
as it really is, that I am still having pain. Pain that is not
debilitating, but pain that shouldn't be there.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.
Asking Bill or the kids to carry all the laundry down into
the basement, or lug it all back up, or move boxes
around, or carry plastic bins here or there, or carry in
Costco-sized portions of whatever, is not necessarily a
bad thing......but I can probably count on one hand how
many times I just didn't do IT myself. And besides,
asking my kids to do anything other than, waste food,
keep all the lights on, run their TV's all night, take off and
drop all their dirty clothes right where they are standing, leave
homework and papers and pencils and erasers strewn all over
the desks they were working on, .............oh wait, I don't have
to ask them to do all that....they just do it. So asking for their
help is just about as pleasant as watching them roll their eyes,
groan and moan, and then forget two seconds later what I
actually told them to do...........

So tomorrow I follow up with my doctor, the magician. Maybe
I can ask him if he can make this all magically go away..... I am on
for four more weeks of physical therapy, where I can once again count
on being stretched and pulled and twisted and massaged and pushed
and contorted into crazy poses, practically sat upon while listening
to my spine crack and creak into the position it's supposed to be in.
Then I'll lay in traction or nearly fall asleep while having a heat treatment,
all the while wondering

how the hell did
I
get
here.....

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