Tuesday, August 31

day two - here I am

maybe writing about the trivial things that happen
will help me start to dig deep and bring out some of the
stuff I want to be writing about but just don't have the
capacity to right now.

trivial in the sense that these things happen to me,
but I in no way, look lightly upon, and/or do not
appreciate. because I appreciate a lot in my life.
trivial in the sense that they can and do happen
to everyone, probably. and trivial in the sense that
my life is so much more about the bigger picture
right now.


so last night we went back-to-school shopping.
clothing/shoes shopping. (school supplies - that's
today's project) this, mind you, was after having the
local Barnes and Noble try to locate a book that Connor
needed to read and answer questions, over the summer,
which here in this house, translates to - two days
before school starts. west hartford it was, so we headed
out there and got the book, which put us at Westfarms
Mall for shopping. not a bad thing.

after perusing Nordstrom and finding nothing that I
could afford, the next stop was the Gap. we hit the
motherload. seriously. all jeans - $15....or so the sign
said. come to find out - MOST jeans were $15. some were
$20. i love Gap jeans for the kids. as a matter of fact, I
still have all of Connor's old jeans from there, that Garrin
will probably be able to wear next year.

oh wait, did I say "the kids"? that would be the BOYS.
Hannah was practically getting hives in there. it's like
she allergic to the place. she couldn't wait to get out of
there and go to "her" stores.

back to the jeans. Garrin got three pair, Connor two.
not only did we get them for a smokin' price, when you
buy 5 pairs - you get one free - WHAT A WAY TO SWEETEN
THE DEAL. so BAM. boys pants - done. for now....until
it gets colder out.....

so off we go to see what is out there calling Hannah's name.
got sidetracked a bit when she decided she "needed" to get her
(not that I want to really....) I don't know - is this a back-to-school
must nowadays for 13 year olds? she does look pretty awesome
with it!!

well her score of the night was at Hollister. even though I am
pretty sure you can clothe an American Girl doll in their clothing..
it's so.....I don't know.....little??? the deal there was - if you buy a
pair of jeans you would get 20 percent off your whole purchase.
CHA-CHING!!! SCORE!!! so she found super-skinny jeans, as they
are called, on sale for 20 bucks and was able to get the rest of her
stuff discounted! and who doesn't need a deal like that when you
are clothing three kids for school???

so a small but successful dent put into school shopping. our plan
is to hit a Nordstrom Rack this weekend on our way back home
from a family Labor Day party we are going to in Maine. shoes...
clothes.....can't wait to check it out!!

today. athletic shoes and school supplies. tomorrow is the big day.
not looking forward to it. i've been clinging on to my kids a little
tighter lately. boo for me......

Monday, August 30

A little experiment

Being that I have always found blogging very cathartic,
and the lack of blogging by me lately,
thus explaining my constant need for a catharsis......
(a purification or purgation of the emotions....yeah that's it!)

Did you know cathartic also mean a cleansing of the bowels?
I guess that makes sense in the figurative sense - a cleansing
of my mind starting from the deep, dark depth of the bowels of my life?

Ewww. That just sounds nasty. Not inspiring.

Deep and dark makes sense to me right now though.
Blogging has taken a back seat to my head.
In the sense that I am doing so much thinking right now...
that my fingers could never keep up with all the thoughts
I have that I would need to type everything into a blog post
in order to feel


So here is what I am going to do.
I am going to get on here once a day. I am going to force myself to
have at least one thing to say

One thought.


To get rid of some of this crap in my mind...


OK - Well my half hour here is up. The timer just went off.
I must get up off this couch now, for my self-help, self-therapy
session is over. And if I was actually paying myself money
for all the time I've spent analyzing myself lately,
I'd be a millionaire.

I'd be on the cover of Forbes Magazine.
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen.

So long til tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 17

Happy Birthday Connor

To my son who:
knows every single solitary detail of any sport,

asks if the Taco Bell in Westerly, RI is the same one
we go to when we are home...... Longmeadow, MA.........
.......3 hours away..........
xoxo love you bud!

Monday, August 16

oh boy...

You've caught up to me, Bill.
Love you.

Sunday, August 15

The truth is...

that yesterday, I finally realized the REAL reason
I love the beach. Besides these goof-balls I call my kids......

The beach is the one place I can go where nothing else matters.

I can truly relax. Bill can vouch for me on this one. I've not always relaxed at the beach.
The sea has not always been my friend. It took me a very long time...many years in fact,
to feel comfortable going into the ocean. I've realized it is not only about relaxing
your entire body, but relaxing your mind too.

(yes, Hannah put sand-boobies on the boys...)


I don't have to think.
About anything.
The past or the future.
Just that very moment.

Don't have to think about doctors or lawyers, or my truck, or lack there-of,
or what I am going to do, or what I need to do, or what I have to do or what I should do.

I don't have to think of laundry, the house, vacation, school, work,
and the momentary lack of desire to do all of the above.

I don't have to think about my marriage, or parenting.

I don't have to argue with my self, my head, my thoughts.
I can just relax.

And I need that now more than ever.
I am feeling a little f**ked up in the head sometimes.
In a funk sometimes.
I thank Bill and the kids for giving me a little reprieve from ME
to make that all so much better yesterday.

Sunday, August 8

The beach - day 2

Another peaceful day at the beach.

Let's hope this upcoming week/week and a half are a walk in the sand....

Saturday, August 7

Just what the doctor ordered.

So I went to a new doctor yesterday to get checked out from the accident.
I literally picked this guy out from the website for our insurance.
I guess you could say an eenie meenie miney mo process....

Anyhoo. While I was there, he worked his magic....
No seriously. I mean it.
At the end of the appointment he did a magic trick for me.
And he's kinda famous.

He wrote a book and everything. And travels to Las Vegas to
give lessons.......Aside from that - he is an awesome doctor,
and a lucky find!!

He didn't have to prescribe me going to the beach for me to
know that is exactly what I needed.
Shit just can't go smoothly with this whole "accident" situation,
and I've been a little sun, crashing waves, warm water
and my husband made the day perfect.

Weather permitting....back to the beach tomorrow.

Busy week ahead so I am going to soak it all in as much as I can!

Thursday, August 5

Either way you look at it...

Whether it was that I was getting a sign from God
that I should be grateful for my "angelic" kids.....
or maybe the light was hitting them
just right while they played "volleyball"
......with a square blow up dice over two soccer nets.......
you know, like most kids do...........

but the sun setting tonight was pretty cool.

Well. I do think my kids are angelic.

When they are sleeping that is...

Wednesday, August 4

Why Hannah swims...

That is a pretty common phrase around here...
why Hannah swims...or .... it's a good thing Hannah swims...

For example.
Hannah and her "BFF" Kelly, whom she has been joined at the hip
since we moved here, of which I realized this past weekend's swim meet,
they were poured from the same mold....for sure for many reasons,
spent the night last night. The girls decided THEY would make
dessert for all of us and embarked on the easy task of
baking a homemade Pecan Pie.
Don't let that photo fool you. THAT is what pecan pie really looks like.....with,
let's say......3 tablespoons of flour as part of the recipe.

THIS is the real pie....with....
3 CUPS of flour as part of the recipe.
Along those same lines, I vaguely remember THIS blog post
pertaining to Hannah and Baking.

And this is in fact WHY Hannah swims....
I have to admit I was so glad to have that bit of humor last night.
Been needing that so much lately.

It has been one week today, that some guy slammed into the back
of my truck. And while I am so grateful that I am OK, I still feel
sorry for myself...or maybe it is just my truck that I feel sorry for,
or maybe the fact that I don't have the truck I loved most in this world,
or maybe I just don't know period, since my head hurts......
Nonetheless - laughter will get me through this. I will take it in all
and any forms.


That night, I'd dropped the kids off at the pool and had to blow an hour, so I was
on the campus shooting some photos, when I got the bright, or maybe not
so bright, idea to head over to the cemetery where some of my relatives
are buried. And then bang - my car goes flying...and so does my camera that
was on the front seat. Just downloaded the pictures I'd taken that night.
Thank goodness the camera is OK. Imagine me losing my truck AND my
camera??? Dang. My head hurts.

One of the photos is actually the photo I was going to use for last week's
Team Up Thursday, the theme being "Doors".
I knew that this was the last time, the last night my kids would be walking through
those doors onto that pool deck. I'd half expected to shoot a picture of
Hannah walking in first slamming the door in Connor's face, but it didn't turn out
that way...happy me... I like how it turned out. On the upside, hopefully their
home pool will be finished with renovations once Short Course season starts up
which is a tad closer to home, and A LOT further away from the cemetery...hah!

These are the rest of the photos from "that night".....

Well. I've written about it
and I now think I am over myself about it.
Don't you hate it when you have to tell yourSELF to get
over something? I do.....

Tuesday, August 3

One thing I wish I could do on Photoshop

Take all the dents out of my truck....

for real