Monday, June 28

Traveling down the right path, .........finally.

I am feeling good lately.
Healthy meaning, mind wise.
Not fat ass wise...but that will be for another day.
I feel stronger....mind wise as well.

This can only be a good thing.
It's a culmination of a lot of things I think.
How I look at things now.
Knowing that I need to slow down my life.
Letting myself get to a good place slowly.
And letting some of the guilt go....which isn't easy
with our Eye.Talian upbringing.....but what.ev.

And the support of my family has been critical.
The support of my friends....imperative.
I'm lucky.

Well I am now 45. I now have to check the second to last age box
on most questionnaires.........THAT'S a bummer for sure.
Much to my discomfort, we celebrated my birthday this past weekend.
I don't like the attention being on myself,
I'd much rather plan something for someone else.
And we all know can go over the top on that,
AND I rock at it.

Anyhoo. Friday night - sushi and hibachi
from my most favorite place to get it - Osaka in Northhampton.
Ever since Kimmy and Dennis introduced it to me...I can't
get it outta my is AMAZING. And yesterday a cookout
with our family. Really great. Really low key. Really relaxing.
But my favorite part of my weekend-long celebration
was breakfast prepared by my kids.

.....speaking of being on the right path.....

I am in a good place right now.
Figuratively and realistically.
Thanks to all that made me feel special.
My heart is full.

Thursday, June 24

Team Up Thursday

The theme for this weeks diptych was
After Hours.

I put off thinking about it for a while and when it came time to wrap my head
around what I was possibly going to come up with for a photo,
I thought of this:

Until I realized they were not called After Hour mints but After Eight mints.
Funny thing is, when Bill asked what the theme was,
that was HIS suggestion as well.
We BOTH are stupid...

I knew I wanted to take a picture of cars at night.
Why? Since I don't know how to properly use the settings on my
camera to be able to get a decent night shot? Who knows, but I was
giving it a try.

The result - Kimmy on the left and me on the right.
From what my sister tells me, she got this on the first shot.
Nice job, Kimberly.

Tuesday, June 22

"say hello to my little friend"

We felt all warm and fuzzy when we rescued our cat Gina from the pound.
So we were at PetSmart last week because Gina, who has gained quite a bit
of weight, even on the diet food we've put her on, needed food.
And so did Lucy. Cat food that is. Lucy needed more cat food.......
Dog food just doesn't cut it for her anymore. Anyhoo....PetSmart.

Well they have a little shelter type place set up in there with cats that
need rescuing. We saw the most awesome-est looking cat,
who needed us. Or maybe we just needed another warm and fuzzy feeling.

Her name was - DESTINY.
And since she didn't appear to look anything like an African American Pop Singer,
we decided to change her name. So here is Penny.
She is super cute. Very stiking markings, she has. She's gorgeous.
And just a quick little note about the name. When I was pregnant with Garrin,
and before we knew he'd be a Garrin, you know, all the while thinking we were going
to have a girl, we asked the kids what a good girl name would be.

Connor said Penny.
I'm thinking Penelope.
He was thinking the coin.

The amniocentesis determined that one and Penny was not to be.
So then getting this pretty kitty, we just thought it would be a great opportunity to call her our favorite name.

Until we realized that LUCIFER would have been more appropriate.

And that is right around the time that Lucy and Gina decided it would be in their
best interest to bury the hatchet and form an alliance against Penny. be continued.

Monday, June 21

a day late, but NOT a dollar short

I love this photo.

I love it for many reasons.
I love it because there was a time, when I didn't want to love it,
but deep down, I knew that could never happen.
I love it because it is from a trip to Disneyland which....I mean - come on...we know
what THAT means to me.
I love it because it is my family all together at one time, one place.
I love it because it is a rare time for Bill to relax and let it all go, all
the while I know how hard that is for him.
I love it because it symbolizes all that I live for.

We did not celebrate Father's Day yesterday.
Hannah, Connor and I where busy at a meet all weekend.
Bill was busy being Bill.
Getting things ready for us to go do what we had to do.
Coming to watch and support his kids swimming.
Taking care of Garrin.
And not minding one bit that the day was not spent
in what most would consider the traditional way of celebrating.

So today I say:
Happy Father's Day Bill.
I love you.

Thursday, June 17

Team-Up Thursday

As different as my sister and I are in general,
I am LOVING our diptych this week,
because we were right on target with each other
and our singular ideas for the theme CHAOS.
We came together with this one so perfectly!!

Mine is on the top and Kimmy's is on the bottom.

How funny?....both are photos of toys!

I happened to be tidying up around Garrins train table and saw
this 10 car, bus, plane, Disney tractor trailer, train and boat pile-up.
Imagine that in real life?
Pretty chaotic for sure!!!

I love seeing things through a non-realistic eye once in a while!
There's a name for that I think. I just don't remember what it's called....

Monday, June 14


A lifetime ago, I actually had a job.
A career.

Way back when, my childhood was not paved with thoughts
of going off to college to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor or a lawyer.
I was quite lucky to have the little in life our family was afforded at the time.
I knew early on that college was not in my future.

I did attend a business school after high school and became a
full fledged computer programmer....of which, in the end,
I hated every single solitary moment of it...though I was quite good at it.

I was fortunate to fall into floral design alongside my aunt
and found that that was "IT" for me.
I found my passion.

And then I met Bill, who in a very similar situation, was in a career
that he was incredibly passionate about........with NO college education.

We NEVER tell our kids that life can still be good withOUT a college degree.
NEVER. But that is not the point of this post.
It's about teaching our kids how to be passionate about all things in life.

Hannah joined me this past weekend, at my studio,
while I worked on a very small floral project for a tour of historic homes
in town. She was eager to get her hands dirty...
While this may not be what I hope and dream for HER to be "when she grows up",
I know that I will continue to impress upon her that whatever "it" is for her, she needs to love it.

She also needs to know that NO ONE is better than anyone else regardless of a good education,
or lack there of. She needs to know that
when and if she marries a millionaire and
if she chooses to dedicate her life to having and raising a family
she is no different that the career woman that sacrifices her family time to
pursue the opportunity to provide for that family.

But indeed it is all about the passion. And hand in hand with that, it is also my job to teach
her to be oblivious to those in this world that are judgemental of people
and their choices.

So folks. THIS is MY passion.
It's funny to look at this picture. I've not seen myself in this position in a very very
long time! (Let me pat myself on the back right now....) this moment
did not last nearly long enough. I forgot how fast I design.....
I could have done it all day.

Pretty ironic that this is the coffee mug I brought with me to the studio.
It is the mug I bought for Bill when I was encouraging him to start his own company.
Live with PASSION.

Saturday, June 12

OK - so there WAS a play...

A House for Hermit Crab
Garrin's class put on a little end of the year play which was so adorable. They
made all of the decorations themselves and even though all the kids had a one liner,
except the "hermit crabs", I think they did a great job. Garrin was the starfish...

Connor pretty much missed the whole thing because he couldn't get to Garrin's class in time. He's a tad upset, can ya' tell?? Wears his heart on his sleeve, that kid.......

So hey...
IS SCHOOL OVER YET??????????????

Thursday, June 10

Team Up Thursday

"Mirror" was our theme this week.
Me on top.
My sister's is on the bottom.

My first thought was to take a picture of Hannah and I
face to face because lately I am feeling that she is the mirror image
of me - looks wise and personality wise.

But that didn't happen.
Idea number two I knew if I was going to photograph an actual
mirror I was going to include a candle. I LOVE LOVE LOVE
candles reflecting off of mirrors.

Having my angels in the reflection as well?
Well just an added bonus for me.

And speaking of nephew is pretty stinking cute
in my sister's shot.

Wednesday, June 9

Must be nice.

Monday, June 7

my little storyteller

So preschool for sure, has made Garrin become
very animated at times. He is constantly...something.
Most often it is a train.
He can be riding his bike and he is non-stop talking,
or choo chooing,
or whatever.
He makes any and every sound possible to sound like
whatever he has become for the moment.
He does not stop.

He also has decided that he has a grandmother.
Which in fact he does,
but that is not who he is ever talking about.
He calls HER Grandma and we are not sure who SHE is really.
But he does a lot of stuff with her, of which we are never aware of.
He is quite the actor.

So last week at school, Connor was in a play "Beauty and The Beast Jr.".
Off the point for a sec - I didn't get to see it but will be graced with a DVD for
all posterity. Bill went to the evening show and couldn't believe the amount of
lines Connor had memorized. When asked when he learned it all, he told Bill
he practiced here while doing his homework..........OK - can't even wrap
my brain around that one, but whatever. He always continues to amaze us
with how smart he actually is compared to his lack of common sense.....

Back to the play. At home that night we'd explained to Garrin that Daddy and
Connor had just come back from Connor's play "Beauty and The Beast Jr." to
which Garrin responded - "I'm in a play!!! It's about a hermit crab!!"

Yeah right....AND you are Thomas The Train
and have an "alternate Grandma" we've never met...........
Until this came home in the backpack:
hmmmmmmmmm.....very interesting....
I've got to run. I am going on ancestry dot com to see if our family tree
extends a little further than we realized...

Sunday, June 6

pretty good day....all around

It's Sunday night. I'm sitting in my living room, which by the way is "mostly" done.
Mostly set up the way I want - books on the bookshelves, pictures hung,
tchotchkes here, there and everywhere, TV hung over the fireplace (thank you Christopher!),
fresh flowers and greens from the yard in a vase, candles lit.

Bill is making cookies,
Hannah is reading a book,
(I know, I know - stfu?!?!?!),
the boys are playing with various electronic devices,
and I am just relaxing.

And most of the rest of the house is a friggen mess.
Most I say. far the kitchen is "mostly" done.
We had a painter come in and paint the whole kitchen white,
had a custom table built,
and found a spot for all of our things.
But some of the new paint is peeling (which is pissing me off)
and my cast iron radiators and a hanging bookshelf
still need finishing. Then it will be "all" done.
I can't wait to post before and after pictures of that room
after I rip the painter a "new one".
I think it is unrecognizable. It went from dark and dated
to clean, and crisp, and very, very family friendly!!

The office - well I tackled that on Friday and actually made great progress.
After having to level almost every single piece of furniture in there....
I was able to get all my things organized,
in only the most perfect OCD way I know how,
and it is pretty enjoyable to walk in there now.

The dining room - that's just gonna have to wait. We have obvious floor issues in there.
In other words - let alone that the floors are warped and completely unlevel,
I can see down into the basement in some spots and others just feel
like if Fat Albert came over for dinner, he might wind up IN the basement.
So eating occurs either in the kitchen or outside when possible.
I'm good with that.

Upstairs.....That would be where the freak tornado hit.
So I'm not even going to talk about it.

Oh wait I want to say one thing.
The one thing that did inspire this blog post tonight.

I walked upstairs to put on some comfy clothes,
tripped over everything on the way into my bedroom,
and came back downstairs thinking...

"I love this house."

Now THAT is huge for me.
I love it WITH the mess.
WTF is happening to me????

Let's move on from the house to the swim meet.
Past posts will tell the stories of me working swim meets
not paying attention to my kids
when we lived in Nevada. And the move here
bringing me the desire to take a step back from
everything I was involved in....
but truly loved.

Well this weekend, I got my toes wet again.
And I had the time of my life.
I worked the admin table, learning some new things,
ignored my kids swims
and had a really, really great time doing it.
It felt good.

It felt so nice to be on deck where all the action is.
And it was great to give back to this team,
that my kids are dedicating so much of their time to.
A team in which they are thriving.
They are loved.
And nothing makes me want to show everyone my appreciation
more than doing what I do.

I can't wait to do more.
What a great weekend it has been.
It feels nice to feel good.
It feels nice to start to feel like me.

Someone told me that even though I was feeling like I was lost, and
that I'd become a different person, that deep down,
I've ALWAYS been the person I loved being when I lived in Nevada.
It would just take a little time for me to find Me here.

And she was right. I think I am on my way.

Saturday, June 5

oh no...HE'S not stupid

He's smart enough to know he needs to keep his back to everything..
or everyONE in this instance.
He knew I'd be sneaking up on him.......since he was supposed to be getting
his backpack and getting ready to leave for school.
Well, lookie here.

chocolate ice cream + clean white shirt = me screaming my fool head off to


It was terribly cute though...

Friday, June 4

I am so glad

that there is enough time in what is ALWAYS the
chaotic - craziness - time managed
just plain NUTS
lives of my kids,
for them to appreciate "the little things".
Like the rain.

I can only hope I am setting a good example in that department...

Thursday, June 3

Team Up Thursday

So Kimmy and I were both upset that we passed on Team Up Thursday last week,
but I think we really made up for it this week.

The theme was signs.
I just LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEE my sister's which is on the left!!!!
love it

Mine. Well. Went out last night to take the shot.
Had in mind that I wanted repetitious signs all in a row.
Found them in front of Home Depot about 10 minutes from the house.
Shot the pictures. Each shot looking better and better...........
until I noticed my display said:




Drove home.
Got the card.
Loaded it in my camera.
Went back to the parking lot to get the shot.

Mine's on the right.

Got home.
Downloaded the photos.
ALL BLURRY........

So I photoshopped the crap out of it.
It came out fairly decent.

We do good work and my sister!

Wednesday, June 2

Things are a bit foggy.

well, with the humidity and all.
Oh and yes, figuratively as well, with the move and all.
Holiday, back to school, field trips, Beauty and The Beast play,
wrapping up the end of the academic year....and the fact that I am old
and am going to be 45 pretty much sums it up......I am primarily in a daze most days.

Anyhoo. Took a walk down the back yard today.
The wooded part.

Had to get a new lens for my camera. Well I didn't have to.
But the one I love the most, broke. Don't ask me how, 'cause I don't know.
But I am trying to get used to this new one. Which took amazing shots,
nonetheless, but it's a 24 -200 instead of a 15-200. Need to use a
different lens now for the more "close-up" shots.

Going to go back down tomorrow with a different lens. I am sure there are
other little creatures and what not that I will be able to capture...
in a photo that is.........

Happy HOLY.SHIT.IT'S.ALREADY Wednesday!!