Sunday, November 8

I am sad

I planned on announcing on my blog, to those who hadn't heard in person,
that Bill and I had decided to move back east. It was probably going to be
some long and drawn out explanation as to why, how, when...
we were leaving.


Because it is in my head and I like to get things all written down. Brings a little
closure for me so I can move on to whatever it is I need to wrap my brain around next.
I still may write those things down, but this here, this is fresh on my mind.
It's so fresh and raw that it hurts......

I feel the need to write about something that is much
deeper for me. Something that is close to my heart. Something that is so sad, yet
so stereotypical, it is scary.

I will start by saying that I have felt for the last 8 years of our lives here that
each and every one of us, including my kids, were incredibly blessed to be
surrounded by so many friends. Good friends. Friends from every little niche
of our lives from school, to swim, to soccer, to whatever. We enjoyed spending a lot
of time over the years with all of these people. Our favorite thing?? Bringing
people into our home. Sharing our house, our yard, our friendship, our fortunate
life. All the good things we had, we were able to share. Good food, Good Fun...
our party invitations always said. Everyone, we were pretty sure,
felt at home and very welcome. Everyone, we were pretty sure,
felt our giving was sincere, from our heart and quite genuine.

The last seven or eight weeks have been FAR FROM NORMAL, for all five of us here.
We have all been through hell, that only
we, our family and a few close friends know - the very personal, very intimate
details. Oh and let me just say this....THE TRUTH.

This is a TRUTH, a pain, that I will not share on this blog, but a pain that still resides in
all of us. It is a pain that children should not ever endure, but mine are.
This pain, coupled with Bill's very agonizing, but well thought out, much supported decision
to resign his position with the company he has given his life and soul to for
20 years, has pushed us to make the decision to leave here.

My.... how very fast friends turn from you.
We have unknowingly provided an opportunity for friends to take a situation
they assume they know the details about, and begin talking...
spreading rumors....spinning stories.......
into something that it is NOT.

Trust me, my friends. You DO NOT KNOW or
UNDERSTAND the truth. Continue to perceive our situation how ever you
must. We will be gone in five weeks. I am quite confident when I say that
my heart, however crushed it is today knowing that those I thought were friends
may in fact, not be my friends, will hurt even deeper when I hear what is being
said about me, my husband, my daughter....AFTER we leave. We would have
welcomed love and support yet we have been left with dealing with the crap.

I am sad.

If you even THINK you knew me, you will feel me.
I am sad.

I hurt thinking that all I wanted was for my children to be able to take these
remaining weeks here, to say goodbye to their friends, instead of having to battle
rumors about our family and about themselves. To say goodbye peacefully.
You may think that all they are dealing with is moving.
But do not know THE TRUTH.

How sad.

Rumors hurt.
Rumors get around so fast.
Rumors get back to the people they are about...even faster.

I hear it all.
And I am feeling it all.
I am sad.

Sad that when you hope friends will gather around,
they leave you faster than you can imagine.
Leave you for something better.

Oh well. That seems to be so stereotypical, does it not??


Anonymous said...

Well said Gini.

My family has cherished each and every moment we have spent with your family. As difficult as it is for us to see you leave, we know that this has been an even more difficult decision for you. Nonetheless, you will be sorely missed.

Our wish for all of you is that you find the peace, serenity, love and happiness that you all deserve so much. Right now, you should be getting back all of the positive energy that you have been giving for so long, to so many instead of this "crap". I really hope that when 'friends' read this, they think before they speak and hear only the truth.

We love you and wish you only the best that life has to offer and we look forward to watching the kids grow up...even if it is from afar.


Jerolyn said...

The other TRUTH is this, fortunately amongst those "friends" out there who insist on having diarrhea of the mouth, there are also some very dear friends who DO know you and your family and who LOVE you and your family and who will MISS you and your family dearly.

The nasty, cutting, hatefull, SPITEFULL rumors and whispers hurt your heart and may make you question the sincerity of your "friend"ships~

but let's just remember "friends"

Those who live in GLASS HOUSES best be mighty carefull when throwing stones~ bitches!

Jerolyn said...

p.s. I love you and wish you and your family all the happiness life has to offer~ best of luck, Now go get yourself some UGGS!

Redhead in Vegas said...

So sorry Gini.My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope that moving back East will bring you all of the good things this lousy town and its even lousier people tried to take from you. Lots of love from your bloggy friend,

Chris said...

Gini, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this while so much is going on in your life right now. I am excited to be part of that light at the end of the tunnel in 5 weeks. Love you.

LaAna said...

I am sad for you too, and I'm sad that you and your family have to go through situations that make moving and leaving your home for so many years, even harder then it already is. Thank goodness for true friends who love and support you and live up to the meaning of the word friend. All others, well just try and count yourself lucky to truly know who your real friends are and not to have to go through life thinking they were.
I wish you a great and wonderful adventure and I know that your family will only be made stronger because of the trials that you endure. Tomorrow is a new, brighter day and I look so forward to seeing what your life holds on the east coast!

Anonymous said...

What rumors…I haven’t heard anything! I have only notice you withdraw yourself from everyone around you. You have hinted that something is bothering you, but never gave most of your friends the chance to support you- except just a few. If they were the only ones who knew about this problem, you may want to look at them first. I am sad and hurt to find out your leaving via a blog. I wish you the best, and I think you and your family will be just fine. True, I don’t know what’s going on but it sounds like it is a life changing event.

Denise said...

Judgemental, opportunistic, two-faced, ignorant, simpleminded, narcissistic, trashy people suck. I'm sorry that you have some in your life that you need to bitch slap. If you need a helping hand, please give me a call. I will be in the next flight out there.

Kim said...

People like that are giant losers, as far as I'm concerned. They pretend to be your friend, but are so twisted that they can only feel good about themselves by making you look or feel bad. Sick, really, and so pathetic. Too bad they can't just get a life of their own.

As others have said, you know who your true friends are, and you've been fortunate to have had them in your life. And, I'm sure they'll continue to be in your life after you leave, just in a different way. Don't feel bad about writing those others out of your life for good - they don't deserve any kind of friendship, and while it sucks to think you entrusted your heart to those people, rest assured that those chickens will surely come home to roost.

Can't wait 'til you get back here!

Unknown said...

I'm so sad that your leaving NV is turning into such a sad, angst-filled adventure when really, it should be a joyous, love-filled adventure.
Like I've said to your brother and sister - you 3 are so BLESSED to have each other and to WANT to be together.
Your children are SO LUCKY to have cousins and family and to be all together - whether that lasts a few months or the next 25 years.
You are a warm, loving, generous and kind soul, Gini. And whatever you are going through, keep your focus on your heart - and your Faith - and all things will come to pass and your peace will return.
Love, Love, Love the Herbsts!!

Anonymous said...

First, I am sorry that you are going thru a difficult time and only wish the best for you and family. And, agree that children should be left out of it and not be hurt.

But you should read the following paragraph again:

Trust me, my friends. You DO NOT KNOW or
UNDERSTAND the truth. ..... thought were friends
may in fact, not be my friends,....We would have
welcomed love and support yet we have been left with dealing with the crap.

Keeping withdrawn and not giving at least some information to the FRIENDS you mention above - is unfair. How could there be welcomed love and support when you just withdrawal from your friends.

So the close friends you did share the TRUTH to should really be the only ones that matter.

You write a blog for goodness sake.... you share to the world.

Redhead in Vegas said...

Wow Gini, it sounds like Anonymous really has some issues with you. My guess is that she/he is the one mouthing off about your life.

Denise said...

True friends don't need to know the details to be supportive and true friends don't need to be on the inside to understand.

Kim said...

Amen to that, Denise! Only those looking for something to gossip about press for details when they're not offered.

Unknown said...

Well said - cuz I don't know DICK! :)

Allison said...

All will be well in time. I think that a few of the commentators who say here that they can be supportive without knowing every minute detail are on the mark. Will this crap matter in a month? In a year? Nope.

And, folks should not forget that by putting "anonymous" they certainly aren't. It's the digital age, folks. You leave a digital fingerprint everywhere.

Jerolyn said...

I guess some people just feel like they are automatically entitled to know what Gini has said to be "very personal, very intimate details" about her and her families situation.

Gini and I have been friends for 9 yrs. I consider her to be one of my nearest and dearest. We have, over the years shared with one another some "very personal, very intimate details" about our lives. That being said, Gini has not shared with me those of whom she is referring to in this blog post, obviously because she knows first hand how it feels to have your/and your families name dragged through the mud and she has chosen to take the high road and not offer those same privledge to them by calling them out publicly.

So instead of removing the knife from her back and waving it around for all to see, she has chosen to deal with her and her families pain privately.

However, I do know this. I know those friends whom she is NOT referring to. I know because those friends didn't instantly feel guilty or get their feathers ruffled after reading this post. They offered their support without knowing the very personal, very intimate why's and how's...

The Herbst family has chosen for now to not share the why's and how's with the world here on this blog. It doesn't give anyone the right to MAKE UP rumors and fill in the blanks just because they weren't privy to details straight from the horses mouth~

Debbie said...

Mean people suck and eventuall it comes back to bite them in the butt. Know that you are doing what you and your family need to do and try to forget what others are saying. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.

Emily said...


I am so, so sorry for the pain that you and your family are going through. Having moved around a lot and having people turn their back on you is so difficult, especially when major changes are going on. Your true friends love you and will support you through anything. I hope the move is a positive experience and that you all settle in quickly. We will keep you all in our prayers.

p.s I hope you keep blogging. I love seeing the kids grow up, especially Garrin!

Leslie said...

Gini- I LOVE YOU!!! And Bill, and Hannah, and Connor, and Garrin. I can't wait to come visit you back HOME!

Debbir Sr. said...


People can be so disappointing and that takes the focus off of the people who really love you and are truly your family.

Focus on the warm home coming that awaits you.

Sometimes the hardest decisions in life turn out to be the best decisions ever.

Open your heart to God's love and let his kindness wash away all of the meaness of man. Put your family in His embrace and enjoy the peace of heart, mind and soul. Just let go and let God.

Love Debbie and Dennis

Denise said...

Well said, momma. Well said.