Sunday, November 29

In the words of Tigger......

ta ta for now....

Tonight we are coming off our last and final trip to Disneyland California.
We made it memorable for sure.
Our last trip was our only trip for Christmas.
This was the highlight of the trip, by far.
I realized, we as parents need to take it down a notch....Connor asked Santa
for an X-Box 360.
Yeah, Hannah is laughing ......she asked for a Mac computer.
Well maybe not. Garrin asked for choo-choo trains.
Way to keep it real for Santa, Bud.
Something he can actually make in the toyshop!!!
I bid farewell for now.
Christmas for us will be celebrated this year
surrounded by our whole family
in Massachusetts.

My computer is about ready to be boxed up.
My kids have a few more days of school.
The NV State Swimming Championships over the weekend.
A bit more boxing up to finish after that.
Moving truck comes on the 9th.
One way tickets back east on Dec. 11th.

So I'll catch you up then.

until we meet again

Thursday, November 26

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Mine is going to be great.
Hope yours is too!!

Tuesday, November 24

Being Thankful

Well, I am going to write two lists here.
Here goes....

Things I am thankful for today.

  • my husband - his strength, his insight, his love, his drive, his dedication
  • my kids - their strength, their perseverance, their adaptability, their unbiased love
  • my family - their encouragement, their unconditional love
  • my friends - their support, their unspoken love
  • my hair stylist.....just kidding....
  • my SELF (worth) - being who I am to be able to be find the strength to be thankful

Things, I can only guess, ANONYMOUS is thankful for.

  • That I will be "outta here" in a couple of weeks
  • That they have managed to make my days and nights be overshadowed with thoughts of "what where they thinking sending this kind of a letter to another human being that contained the hateful words written in said letter."
  • That other people that may be friends with them, don't really know what a coward they really are because they didn't SIGN the letter.
  • That they are a master at spinning things to make themselves look like a victim.

So let me just take a sec to set a couple of things straight.

To those that want more details....not gonna get 'em.
I have never, ever specifically "called anyone out" on this blog, by name...EVER.
Not going to do it now. I have never incited specific situations to cause pain
to anybody at any time.

What I have done, is write my blog, when I feel like it, how I feel like it.

It is honest and it is true and happy, sad, mad or is ME.

Don't like it??
Don't fricken read it.
Don't keep coming back.
Don't sit there trying to interpret something you may not know about.
It's not always about YOU.

To've got it all wrong.
I am happy to be moving.
While the specific details leading up to the move may be no ones business but
those I chose, I am moving of my own free will, WITH my husband, WITH my
children and moving back to be WITH my family. (See above - unconditional love)
WITH a smile on my face.

Another thing. ANY role I chose during my 9 years here
has been a role to better the life of someone else. While I have lived a very
fortunate life here - I took my TIME and LOVE and ENERGY and focused it on
swim team, and PTA, and Special Education and soccer
et al. I gave everything I did, my heart. Hence - the boat load of friends I have made.
Most of whom, are STILL my friends, much to your dismay. Much the opposite of
what you "spun" in your letter. I feel sorry for you that you looked upon my
life and all that I gave here as let me quote...(you were so good at it in your letter)
**bringing down families
**stirred up
**leave big wedges
**destroy camaraderie

So as far as your "suggestions":

fix this....fix what?, I ask.
step down...I don't walk away from ANYTHING I have committed to, until it is done

because seriously, if I did, I would have been long gone,
a long time ago.

So don't hold your breath anonymous.
I am done when I say I am done.
Until then - stay away from me,
stay away from my blog,
stay away from my facebook.

And go find someone else you can make dizzy
with all your "spinning".

Monday, November 23

Dear Anonymous.

I got your letter in the mail.


Thursday, November 19

This may offend, so read with caution.

What do you do when you know you are on the path
to something good,
but shit gets in the way and you want to just say

not to anything in particular,
but to life in general. all the shit.
to everything you are not about.
to everything that brings you down.
to everything you can't even believe is happening.
to everything that hurts you.

Wednesday, November 18

Dear Gail -

Since the time is drawing closer to us moving to the east coast,
I've been recalling a conversation about footwear.

Relative to that,
I came up with these:

Chunky heel for some height,
fur to stay WARM....
How cute are they????
a most definite possibility....

Then there are always these:

Hip and trendy,
a little too flat for my liking...
(you know us short folk need a heel)
WARMTH??...well, that's a given.
a pretty decent possibility.

And yes, my friend, on another of your suggestions,
I could think long and hard about these for sure:
Hell, I could still wear my flip flops.
I could even deal with my propensity to wanna steam some rice,
or the desire go out for sushi constantly....
And besides, what's another excuse to hit Target these days..they
sell them, you know.

But girlfriend...............



Tuesday, November 17

What it feels like...

driving the Jetta.....

driving the Expedition....

I'm just sayin'........

Monday, November 16

6 o'clock on Sunday morning

The Expedition sits running in the driveway,
because it's cold out.....
waiting for the last little load to get loaded....

Here sit the guys in the front seat,
fake-smiling, pretending they are fully awake and ready for
what the day is going to bring them........
In the back seat, looking through the passenger window,
is my Lucy, looking as sad and pathetic as ever.....
with a quick double-check of the mapquest printout....
and as my brother says....... "getting ready.... put 'er in the wind." (and the snow and the ice....)
Sunday nights stop - Denver, Colorado.
Buh Bye
to my safe, large, bigger-than-life, tougher than tough truck.

Volkswagen Jetta.

oh goody...................

Sunday, November 15

Saying Goodbye, Part I

Saturday November 14th.
The last Scorpions Soccer game.
The last time Bill will coach boys youth soccer for a while.
The last time he will coach his own son for a while.

Ended the season with a tie game.
Good way to go out.
No winners.
No losers.
Well, these boys are "losers" in a way.
They are losing a great coach.
An uncharacteristically patient coach.
A fair coach.
A kind coach.
An in-it-to-win-it coach.

They win though, if Jaime continues on with the boys next season.
He has been amazing and will take this team far.

Here they are with the long-standing players.
Boys they almost call their own.
Boys that are like brothers.

Especially these two.
Played together since the beginning.
The sons.
I will truly miss the families.
Bill will miss them the most.....all of them.

Saturday, November 14

All is right with the world.......

....when you find a place that makes donuts the size of your head.

Took Hannah this morning (on the suggestion on a very special friend)
to SERENDIPITY3 (click on it to check out the incredible-ness) for a girly-time treat.
In addition to these monster donuts, we shared one of their specialties..
Frozen Hot DIE for!!!

oh..., and if I was thinking this was a "last time little treat"..

there is one in New York, people!!!

Thursday, November 12

Out with the old, In with the new

We have a lot of stuff.
And that's about all it is .... is stuff.

But I do love my tableware.
I have always loved buying dishes and platters
and bowls and glassware.

We have really decided to give up a lot of that "stuff".
I am really OK with that.

As I got rid of some of the old tableware,

I thought I would share my NEW tableware.......
which is so friggen awesome,
I can hardly stand myself.

Tableware by Hefty.
Glassware by Solo.

LOVE it!!

Wednesday, November 11

Bigger isn't always better

I was talking with my brother on the phone the other day.
He mentioned that his family just bought a Wii.
So excitedly I said..."Hey, don't buy too many games because my kids have a
lot of them."....thinking how cool it will be to be near family,
and make a night of hanging out and playing Wii.

So he said...."So, do the kids have...(such and such a game)???"

I kind of felt bad all of a sudden.
A little sick feeling in my stomach.

So I replied..."You know Chris...I actually don't know WHAT games my kids have."

How terrible is that?
When my kids do play the Wii, it is upstairs in the game room...
which is far, far away from wherever Bill and I are at any given moment in
our day. That is how it has been the last 4 years in this house.

This enormous, spacious 4000 square foot house.

A house that has become DISTANCE between all of us as a family.
A house that we have typically been AWAY FROM one another most
days and most nights.
A house that I thought was so great for allowing us SPACE.

But space has it's downfall.
I DON'T play the Wii (or much else very often) with my kids.
We have fallen into a very bad routine over here.
While we all have been very busy,
we have used that as an excuse to be apart.

So what am I looking forward to??

2000 square feet.
Comfy, cozy, sittin' on top of my kids,
playin' games, trippin' over each other,
not EVER losing sight of my kids, 2000 square feet.

Bigger is NOT always better. I am the proof.

Tuesday, November 10

I just didn't have the money, but....

Billboard sign on 15South - $4500
Building Painting - $3000
Changing the Las Vegas sign - $9800
People respecting our privacy and loving our family anyway - PRICELESS

Sunday, November 8

I am sad

I planned on announcing on my blog, to those who hadn't heard in person,
that Bill and I had decided to move back east. It was probably going to be
some long and drawn out explanation as to why, how, when...
we were leaving.


Because it is in my head and I like to get things all written down. Brings a little
closure for me so I can move on to whatever it is I need to wrap my brain around next.
I still may write those things down, but this here, this is fresh on my mind.
It's so fresh and raw that it hurts......

I feel the need to write about something that is much
deeper for me. Something that is close to my heart. Something that is so sad, yet
so stereotypical, it is scary.

I will start by saying that I have felt for the last 8 years of our lives here that
each and every one of us, including my kids, were incredibly blessed to be
surrounded by so many friends. Good friends. Friends from every little niche
of our lives from school, to swim, to soccer, to whatever. We enjoyed spending a lot
of time over the years with all of these people. Our favorite thing?? Bringing
people into our home. Sharing our house, our yard, our friendship, our fortunate
life. All the good things we had, we were able to share. Good food, Good Fun...
our party invitations always said. Everyone, we were pretty sure,
felt at home and very welcome. Everyone, we were pretty sure,
felt our giving was sincere, from our heart and quite genuine.

The last seven or eight weeks have been FAR FROM NORMAL, for all five of us here.
We have all been through hell, that only
we, our family and a few close friends know - the very personal, very intimate
details. Oh and let me just say this....THE TRUTH.

This is a TRUTH, a pain, that I will not share on this blog, but a pain that still resides in
all of us. It is a pain that children should not ever endure, but mine are.
This pain, coupled with Bill's very agonizing, but well thought out, much supported decision
to resign his position with the company he has given his life and soul to for
20 years, has pushed us to make the decision to leave here.

My.... how very fast friends turn from you.
We have unknowingly provided an opportunity for friends to take a situation
they assume they know the details about, and begin talking...
spreading rumors....spinning stories.......
into something that it is NOT.

Trust me, my friends. You DO NOT KNOW or
UNDERSTAND the truth. Continue to perceive our situation how ever you
must. We will be gone in five weeks. I am quite confident when I say that
my heart, however crushed it is today knowing that those I thought were friends
may in fact, not be my friends, will hurt even deeper when I hear what is being
said about me, my husband, my daughter....AFTER we leave. We would have
welcomed love and support yet we have been left with dealing with the crap.

I am sad.

If you even THINK you knew me, you will feel me.
I am sad.

I hurt thinking that all I wanted was for my children to be able to take these
remaining weeks here, to say goodbye to their friends, instead of having to battle
rumors about our family and about themselves. To say goodbye peacefully.
You may think that all they are dealing with is moving.
But do not know THE TRUTH.

How sad.

Rumors hurt.
Rumors get around so fast.
Rumors get back to the people they are about...even faster.

I hear it all.
And I am feeling it all.
I am sad.

Sad that when you hope friends will gather around,
they leave you faster than you can imagine.
Leave you for something better.

Oh well. That seems to be so stereotypical, does it not??

Friday, November 6

Today will bring to me....

one BIG commitment down

one BIG commitment to go.....

Let's hope today goes smoothly.

Tuesday, November 3

half FULL or half EMPTY

Such a popular question, isn't it??

In this house, it's a little different.

I love my family.
I love being home.
I love that I let this shit just roll off my back now.
Who cares? Really???

tHis IS dRIvIng ME nuTs!!!!