Today would have been my mother's
I copied this photo of her off my brothers Facebook
he and my sister have all the photos
and I don't have any.
She died at 42.
I am 43.
She will have passed 22 years ago this year.
How effed up is that?
In this photo, she was sitting at the hospital ready
to give birth to my brother, with
my sister and
Cigarette in hand,
open TAB on the table.
Looking at that today.
But she was beautiful, just the same.
In a perfect world, I would think of her everyday,
but I don't.
As the years pass, and my life becomes more defined
as a mother,
I cannot relate.
When I need advice, or love, or maternal support,
I look inward.
Because even though I don't remember things about her,
I always knew I wanted to be like her.
I want Hannah
to want to be like me.