Pages

Saturday, May 17

Dear Mr. Pool Guy..

I know that you think you are the best thing since sliced bread, but I beg to differ with you, and this is the reason for this note.

I called you on Wednesday this week, because you are the person who JUST RECENTLY put in a new motor for our pool pump. Don't think that it did not matter to me that it took you AT LEAST a couple of weeks before our original call to you, for you to even show up at our house. In hindsight, if I had know the extent of YOUR TOOTING YOUR OWN HORN to my husband, when he met you on an airplane, I would have not even allowed you to step foot onto my property. Back on point. You took your sweet ass time getting out to our house the first time, and when you did finally show up, we had to listen to you go ON AND ON AND ON about how busy you are, fixing everyone's pools (because you are so awesome) and how busy you are teaching ALL THE OTHER POOL GUYS how to do things the right way (because, again, you are so awesome). So when you finally left 4 HOURS LATER, it was determined that we needed a new motor for the pump.

Which took FOREVER for you to even get back out to our house to put it in. We waited and waited. And everyday that I had to go outside to do something, or wanted to go outside to just enjoy my backyard, and I had to listen to how loud the broken motor was - I got more and more pissed off everyday that you didn't show. Now, mind you, I wasn't just waiting for you for the sheer sake of waiting. YOU TOLD US on numerous occasions that you would be over THE NEXT DAY. NOW, trust me when I say, I realized what THE NEXT DAY means. In whatever friggin dictionary you have at your house it means: When I damn well feel like it. Well, Mister, that pisses me off too.

Anyhoo. It gets installed as we listen to you go on about HOW FANTASTIC YOU ARE, and how only FIVE (5) pool guys in the ENTIRE LAS VEGAS VALLEY, one of which includes you - knows what they are doing. Two hours later..........

The story comes current this past Wednesday when I go outside to SILENCE. The pool pump did not come on at all, nor can I get it to turn on. WHAT THE HELL???? So after checking to make sure a breaker wasn't tripped, we (Bill) started the phone calls to you.

You STILL have not gotten to our house to replace/fix/I-don't-care-what-the-heck-you-do-just-git-'er-done. So after all the promises you made to my husband, ('cause he's a guy and just listens to your crap), I had to call you this morning.

1. My pool looks like sh%t.
2. It has not been running for 4 days.
3. It is hotter than heck here.
4. It's only gonna get hotter.
5. I would like to be swimming with my family.
and 6. I am getting more and more angry listening to all my neighbors having fun, while I am fuming.

The resulting argument we had on the phone has gotten me no closer to resolving this issue. Why? Because you bull-sh%tted me with your bull-sh%t excuses on how if you don't come "WHENEVER THE HELL YOU FEEL LIKE" (supposedly tomorrow), I am never going to find someone to fix it when and how I want it done. And low-and-behold, you JUST HAPPENED to be at the pool supply store, picking up my new pump, saying to me "NOW DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK THIS PUMP UP, OR NOT?" Nice attitude to be taking with a pissed off, hot headed Italian, menopausal, Type A 42 year old...........

You can, buddy. Pick it up. And if you are not here tomorrow morning...........LOOK OUT. Because my nice husband who talks nice to you while you are obviously bull-sh%tting HIM, is leaving on a business trip and I WILL BE THE ONE HOME!!!!!

6 comments:

Tutta la Storia said...

YEAH!!! Kick some pool punp a@@!!! Tonight, on Las Vegas Local, Channel 5, "Henderson Woman Skins Pool Guy Alive with Butter Knife." Get that FREAKING THING FIXED dude, I'm pregnant and HOT!

chris said...

Time to backfill the pool with dirt and plant some grass....

Kim said...

Yeah, but the lawn guy will probably be equally awesome and unable to make it there either!! Whatever happened to just doing the job you're getting paid to do? I'm in the wrong line of work....

Jerolyn said...

I'm scared...very very scared!

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

ummmm hmmm... i know that's right!!! (snap of the fingers & hand on hip) you tell it girl!

contractors... of many shapes & types... run on a clock from MARS!

here's to hoping your fine spinning bod is in that pool SOON! :) lol!

April said...

did my own going green post inspired by yours....hop on over if you wanna take a peek...I gave you full inspirational credit...thanks.

have a happy day