Sunday, February 24

The History of Stuffed Animals

or better yet - The Bane of My Existence.

Now it all starts the same for all of us, when the kids are just babies. For us, when Hannah was born we did a teddy bear theme. There were freaking teddy bears everywhere. We bought fancy-teddy-bears-she-wasn't-allowed-to-touch teddy bears, got the free-teddy bears-from-Ralph-Lauren-when-you-bought-their-cologne teddy bears, my brother was into buying Vermont Teddy Bears - and so on and so forth.
As the years progressed, and another baby came along - the stuffed animals multiplied and so did the occasions. Valentine elephants, Easter bunnies, Birthday penguins, Back-To-School snakes, Thanksgiving Turkeys, Christmas Lambs, Just-Cause-Its-Thursday Hippos.......

Then came along those hot commodity Beanie Babies. Yeah, had a sh#$load of those. Because those were going to be worth some real good money someday!!!! Uh huh, right!

So as all the stuffed animals increasingly took over our house (and mind you, moved from house to house with us....) some jerk thought up Build-A-Bear. So now a third child has come into all of this and we not only have a gazzillion stuffed animals but now we have Build-A-Bear, Build-A-Cat, Build-A-Bunny, Build-A-Dog (which may include any of the following: a boxer, a terrier, a bulldog, a St. Bernard, an Irish wolfhound, a greyhound, a get my point...), a Build-A-Horse (I actually liked that one), and ALL THE ACCESSORIES! The cheerleading outfits, the hockey outfits, the swimsuits, the dog beds, stroller, toys, carriers, roller skates, sunglasses, Halloween outfits - ETC....ETC.....ET FRICKIN CETERA. (I must add - we are still "into" to this day - my 10 year old just got another new one).

So I don't know if possibly it is the same guy who thought of Build-A-Bear - but that genius - or a different one - is making their life fortune now with WEBKINZ. Do you know about them or have them?? Hannah has accumulated a few or 5 or 6. They are stuffed animals that come with some sort of code that you plug into some website on your computer. You play games with them, feed them, clothe them, all kinds of stuff....................Hannah killed her first Webkinz - I don't know - she maybe didn't brush its teeth or do something nice with its hair or actually put pajamas on before it gets into bed.....oh wait.....that's Hannah - But that's the point - she didn't take care of it - it croaked.

Which brings me to my I've-Had-Just-About-Enough-Of-This experience for today.

Hannah and Nikki (her swim buddy) wanted to go, where else, but to the mall today. Hannah asked for $100 from her bank account, which is now pretty much drained dry, to go to Hollister and Tilly and Claires to get some girly stuff. They went off with cellphone and cash in hand and we were to meet up 1 hour 10 minutes later.

Tick tock tick tock....

So the girls meet me upstairs with one bitty bag in Hannah's hand. "Mom, Mom, we need like 20 more minutes."
"Why Hannah? What have you bought so far? It doesn't look like you got much of anything which I can't understand - 1 hour and 100 dollars later?!?!?"
"No, Mom. I got this Webkinz. We couldn't find ANYTHING at Hollister, really".

Re-read above to anticipate my reaction if you need to. Here are what those stupid things look like:

So I proceeded to take the stuffed (penquin, I believe it was) animal BACK to the store to get the money back and walked WITH the girls to Tillys. They managed to pick out some lovely outfits in about 20 minutes tops!
And a happy ending for us all.


Redhead in Vegas said...

you are freakin' hilarious! i had a thousand stuffed animals as a kid. i actually still have some in my garage that my husband made me keep. probably because when i went to throw them out, i started bawling. there is some kind of crazy allure about them. needless to say, ryan has about 5 and she will not get any more until they completely fall apart. or she asks for them ;)

Tutta la Storia said...

I was just considering posting about all of James' teddy bears, saying that he needs an intervention--but it would really be ME that has the teddy addiction. MUST STOP BUYING TEDDIES!