Saturday, September 29

Stung by The Scorpions!!

Connor's soccer team, The Scorpions, played another winning game today. They are undefeated 3 seasons now and are going for their 4th - NO PRESSURE Coach Bill. (Love you babe!) Chris, Allison and James came today to cheer on Connor and his teammates. Hannah and her friend Melanie were there too. What? No pictures of Hannah - oh yeah, that's right. She ran off to hang out with another friend of hers that was there. Thanks Hannah, for being a loving and supporting sister, and cheering on your brother, who in the past two years has attended numerous swim meets, starting at the crack of dawn, mind you, and staying there completely bored out his brain for four straight hours, 2 days in a row, or sometimes 3 and even traveling to California with you, to hold you up high on the Swimming Champion Pedestal he has built for you...........but whatever. I know Solomon was there whom you saw last night for 2 hours and is going to see today for another 2 hours and will see next week starting Monday for the next 6 days, 2 hours each day. You go hang with him.
Thank you to the Shires for checking out our team. Thank you Scott for keeping me in check with the crappy referee we had today. No one would have like to have read the headline in the RJ "Henderson Mom goes ape-s#$t on incompetent ref".
Back to what is important. The Scorpions Rock!!

Friday, September 28

The Swim-A-Thon

Or let me re-title this: Things I Make My Kids Do That I Would NEVER Do. For those non-swim families that read this a quick re-cap. Our swim-a-thon is our yearly fundraiser. The kids swim 200 laps which calculates to 5000 yards or for 2 straight hours, whichever comes first. Hold on, let me get a drink of water - I am out of breath. Anyway. For those that didn't understand my poll question about Connor - let me tell you what happened 2 years ago.

Hannah had been swimming with the team for a little less than a year, and we had just changed coaches, when it was fundraising time. Hannah got in swam, got out, cried, got in swam, got a drink, cried, got out, cried, got back on and so forth. Well, lets just say she got to lap number 99, got out of the pool and didn't get back in. She wouldn't, even upon my INSISTENCE, swim the last stinking 25 yards to make it an even 100. She came over to me and told me she threw up in her mouth. Last year she swam the 200 laps without incident in under 2 hours.

Which brings us to tonight. Connor has been swimming for about 2 months. We anticipated he would follow in his sister's footsteps and ..............throw up in his mouth within, let's say, the first ten laps. But my beautiful boy - who obviously has a bit of competitiveness in him - blew Hannah's original swim away and swam 108 laps - and was darn proud of himself afterward. Right on! Connor!

So Hannah - well, she swam an amazing straight 1 hour 5 minutes. And like the crazy kid she is, gets out of the water smiling. She had fun doing it!!!!!!!

So to all my friends that were there and heard me yelling -

1. Faster Hannah, faster.....or

2. Pick it up Hannah.....or

3. Pass him, Hannah, pass him....or

4. Kick, Hannah, Kick.......or

5. You look like you're sleeping in there, Hannah.....or

6. No breathing after the flags, Hannah.........or

7. Catch up to Carter, Hannah.....

I was only kidding. No really, I was only kidding.

Garrin and James, my nephew, got to watch the kids. My apologizes to the Multi-Gen clean up crew for all the french fries everywhere - but when you need to keep 2 babies busy, there's nothing like McDonalds!

Thursday, September 27


Seal has FINALLY come out with a single from his (everyone join in with me...) long anticipated new upcoming CD!!! Yeah. It's going to be a great day after all. Anyhoo - those of you know, this means a lot to me. (wait, wait, I am tearing up a bit) Sigh - OK. Those who care can catch a listen on iTunes. Song is titled Amazing.

Wednesday, September 26

Child Experiment in Two Parts

Garrin is hitting the tantrum filled era of the "Terrible 23 Months, 17 Days". He didn't want to wait until October 13th, when he is actually 2. Git-R-Done Early and maybe three will be a nice year. Now, these tantrums are about the best I have ever seen. Throws himself face down on the ground, screaming his fool head off. Gets in and stays in the stroller now for about 7 seconds, before lurching himself forward and dragging his feet on the ground, screaming, so if I keep pushing he will fall underneath it. He wakes up grumpy, doesn't want to eat. When we put food in front of him, he pushes it away. When we put a glass of milk in front of him, he spills it on purpose. All of this with a MAJOR attitude.

So to the experiments.

One of my favorite things to do, when Garrin is in this frame of mind, is to load him in the car, into his car seat. You can picture it - arching back, screaming so loud the neighbors think I am beating him, kicking........If I never had to drive somewhere for the next year or so, it would be great, but that is not gonna happen so here is how we handle this now.

"Garrin, Get in the car" "Come on Garrin, let's get in the car" "Garrin" "Garrin get in the car...NOW" "Let's go Garrin" "OK fine. I am leaving" Like he cares - at this point.

So while he is standing there defiantly staring at me, ready to rip if I pick him up, I get in the car, start it, and say bye bye. I click the car into reverse...........and as soon as he hears that - he's ready to get loaded.

Now part one of the experiment happened without my planning it. For those who don't know - Garrin is speech delayed and is currently working with a speech therapist. Well, guess what? He can say "MA MA" and actually be directing it at me. Sure, when he thinks I am going to leave him at home, then he talks. Well, he crys when he says it and runs over to me.

And here is where the experiment is still on-going. How many times will it take for me to "pretend to leave" before he justs gets in the frickin car when it is time to go? Three times so far. I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, September 25

E = mc2

".........Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose." ~Albert Einstein

Now that I am in my 42nd year of life, I am more aware of the importance of staying "sharp", so to speak. As I check over Hannah's math homework, of which I have found I need a refresher course in, I have made a commitment to stave off the prospects of early Alzheimers.

So today, I did some math.

-I got 8 catalogs in the mail, threw out 7 = 1 catalog to find Halloween costumes

-Thomas video played 12 times, Cars movie played 0 times = 12 times we watched Thomas

-Emptied Hannah's hamper of 15 dirty items, 7 additional items were still folded and clean = 22 items had to wash 'cause they all smell now

-Turned right-side in before washing 24 Hannah socks, 14 Connor socks, 18 Bill socks = 56 socks

-56 socks, divided by 2 = 28 pairs of dirty socks

-Garrin threw 12 rocks in the pool, scooped out 12 before the pool guy gets here tomorrow = 0 rocks left in the pool

-7 of Hannah's fake nails, 3 of Hannah's earrings in lint holder in dryer = 10 items with lint ball

-10 curse words, times 7 trips by Connor's dirty, filthy bedroom = 70 curse words spoken out loud in front of Garrin because he doesn't know what I am saying yet

-3 wet towels from Friday swim meet in hamper, 4 wet towels from Saturday swim meet on floor, 4 wet towels from Sunday swim meet still in Nike bag = 11 wet towels

-17 steps on staircase, walked up them 13 times today, walked down them 13 times today = 442 steps taken, and still look at the size of my butt
It's been a long, but learning filled day........(whew!)

I am all about time management

So Garrin stumbles across a drawer this morning, that is filled with VCR tapes. Thomas the Tank Engines tapes, in particular. Now why I have saved these tapes, I don't know, since I tend to throw everything out. Nostalgia, maybe........but none-the-less - Garrin is in "Train Heaven" when he sees them, so he picks one and I go to put it in the VCR, that I have also kept and not thrown out yet. I look at the tape and say "crap, I gotta rewind this thing" - I don't have the 27 seconds, this morning, that its gonna take to get this thing back to the beginning, dammit.

Now I know why DVD's came along. (sigh...)

Monday, September 24


Ok. So between something funny that happened this weekend and what happened today, I have made this commitment, like so many, to start a blog. I will start with this past weekend. We had our nephew James over for a sleepover on Saturday night and with James came his two dogs - Gino and Rocco. Now Gino and Rocco have an afinity for my (FEMALE) dog Lucy. As I am playing with James and Garrin and taking cute photos, I look over at the dogs, and..................... Gino is not allowed to sleep over anymore!

OK - now for #2. Let's label this story - Craigslist Sucks.

Now my brother and his wife are big "craigslisters" and could realistically sell James' dirty diapers on there, for a pretty penny. Bill and I on the other hand, have offered up some lovely things, like a crib, crib bedding, some rugs, this, that and the other things, that no one seems to want. So long story short, I need the windows washed at the house, and found someone on Craigslist. He e-mailed me $135 for in AND out, so I called today, to say come on over. He sent his assistant and funny that he was called the "ass-istant" because when I opened the front door he had his hand down the back of his pants, scratching his a@#!!!!! While chomping on the biggest freakin piece of gum I have ever seen, he told me he was going to re-count the windows, because the price was based on the number of "panes". After counting, he came back to the door SMOKING A CIGARETTE, and started to tell me the "new" price, where I interjected and said "I am getting scammed here, so I am cancelling you. BUH BYE".

My windows are still dirty.